


We put the fun in dysfunctional family.

by ComeAlongMilkovich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeAlongMilkovich/pseuds/ComeAlongMilkovich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things at the Milkovich home are finally somewhat normal, but where's the fun in that. Svetlana decides that they need new a baby added to their already crazy mix, but this time around it should be an orange haired baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this will mainly be Svetlana centered because I hate how she was just pushed to the side after the first few episodes. Especially since it seemed like they were trying to be an actual family unit!

Svetlana couldn't believe how nervous she was just to walk into her home that day. She wasn't even this nervous the first time she walked into this house over four and a half years ago. She should have been terrified then, because after that day her life was never the same. Because of that one fuck, the life she had once invisioned but then quickly realized would never happen actually became a reality. 

  She had a son who she loved more fiercely than she ever thought she could love someone. A husband, who after an extremely rough first couple of years turned out to be a decent person she truly, genuinely cared for. And she also got an Ian, who was like the perfect mixture of brother/best friend/husband rolled all in one. She'll admit now, years later, that her hatred for him at the beginning was mainly due to the fact that she knew no one would ever love her the way Mickey loved him. She knew as a former prostitute she didn't deserve that kind of love but it still hurt when Mickey looked at her like she was the scum beneath his shoe & then look at Ian like he had hung the fucken moon.

As she got to know Ian she understood why Mickey had fallen in love with him because she had started to fall for him too. Not in a 'I'm gonna steal your husband' way but in a 'I want you in my life from now until forever because you make everything so much better' way. Which from the outside looking in sounds real crazy but it worked for them. Besides that one Yevgeny incident, which they don't ever talk about, Svetlana & Ian had become best friends who could talk about any and everything. So she didn't know why she was dreading walking through the door. She had text him that morning telling him that she had something important she had to ask him & Mickey but she wanted to ask him alone first so if he could wait for his daily afternoon run until after she came home. He had replied that of course he would wait so they could talk.

So now she just had to stop being a little bitch and walk through the damn door. She had a whole speech planned out that she had worked on for days. Weeks really, because that's how long she had been thinking about this. But Svetlana was a dumb broad and shit never worked out the way she planned, so when she saw Ian sitting on the couch flipping through channels she yelled (why the hell she yelled she'll never know) "I WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!" 

"What the fuck?" Ian said with wide eyes and startled expression as he held the remote control clutched to his chest. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Or yell. Or start conversation like that." Svetlana sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. She should have written it all down so she wouldn't look like such an idiot. "I try again. "

"Okay" Ian dragged out, still looking at her like she was crazy. 

"Yevgeny needs siblings. It is no fun being only child, I know. I always wished for sister to play with or brother to protect me. And my Yevy will be a great protector to younger sibling. So I want another baby." Svetlana finishes with shrug like she wasn't sure if that's what she was supposed to be saying. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence where Svetlana examines her nails and Ian has a blank look on his face he finally reacts. 

"Shit. Okay. Yeah. We'll have to ambush him for this to work. Fuck, he's gonna yell and probably punch a wall. But then I think he'll come around to the idea. Because it's mainly for Yev. But shit it's gonna be bad. I think I'll be ok with it too I mean you are technically his wife. He'll probably need pointers on how to fuck again since he's usually the one getting fucked." Ian laughs to himself as he paces the living room. "Another baby, with Milkovich blue eyes, and maybe we'll get lucky and he won't be so damn grumpy like his dad." Ian continues to say but Svetlana stops him before he can go any further. 

"No, no Milkovich blue eyes. No grumpy old man look. We have happy smiley orange haired baby like it's daddy, you Ian." 

"Are you fucken crazy?" Ian yells "have you been inhaling cleaning supplies at work? Eating glue instead of helping little kids glue macaroni to the fucken paper like you're supposed to be doing? I can't believe you'd even think about having a kid with me. Mickey would kill us both" he finishes in a huff as he throws himself back on the couch.   

"I watch you with Yevy, with Mandy's son, with Carl's daughter, you want your own baby. You are better parent than Mickey some days. I watch the need in your eyes when Yevy hugs you tight , you think I don't notice shit but I see everything. You deserve your own baby. And in selfish way it's best for me too. Go run, think about it and if answer is still no, we won't ever mention it again." Svetlana says as she walks to to kitchen to start dinner because she knows her boys will be hungry once they all get home.  

 

Wednesdays are usually Svetlana's afternoons to herself, Mickey has the day off so he spends most of it with Yev. It's usually at the Alibi so the ex-pimp can catch up with Kev & the local drunks and their son gets to play with Amy & Gemma. Other days she takes Yevgeny to work with her at the pre-school/day care place she works at. Sure, it's not the greatest place but it's a decent job with benefits and she gets to see Yev throughout the day so she can't complain to much. She was sure 'hand whore' was going to be the only job title she ever had but being a surrogate opened up a few doors for her and she gladly changed professions.

When Mickey found out she was actually going to go through with having a normal 9-5 job he sure as shit wasn't about to be the only parent who was still involved with an illegal job. Of course he would still help Iggy with whatever shit he had going on on the side but that was usually just when he was bored and needed the extra cash. Mickey was now a certified security guard, Ian said it was the perfect job since he knew just what to look for in a thief since he had been one for so long plus he had his experience from the Kash & Grab. Even though there wasn't any actual security work involved Linda was nice enough to say he had been a great worker when he asked for a recommendation.

His usual and favorite place was up in North sides retirement living neighborhood. It was a bunch of rich old folks who's kids didn't want to deal with so they shipped them off there. Turns out old ladies found him quite the charmer and once he got used to the old people smell he kinda liked them back. So now they didn't have to worry so much about Yevgeny growing up known as the kid with a whore for a mother and a thieving drug dealing thug for a father.

The Milkovich's were finally moving on up in the world.

"Why me?" Ian asks Svetlana later that night as she's sitting on the closed toilet watching Yev play in the tub.  
"I'm crazy. I'm still trying to get my shit together. I'm working a crappy job at a book store and taking a few night classes at the community college. Why would you want me to father your kid?" he whispered looking around to make sure no one else heard. 

"You are not crazy, you are bipolar it is different. Yes, you have bad days but we help through bad days. You take meds and bad days are not so often. And everyone around here has shitty job." Svetlana finishes as she scoops up a hand full of bubbles to put on Yev's head.

"Mama, don't! If it gets in my eye ball then I'ma go blind!" Yev squeals as he wipes his face spreading even more bubbles all over his face. 

Svetlana and Ian laugh as they throw more bubbles at Yev making him crack up and flay his chubby arms around getting soap everywhere.   

"Okay little man it's time to actually wash your body, then it's pj's, one story...." 

"And just one story Yev, no bitching about you can't sleep without reading twelve damn books." Mickey interrupts as he shoves himself in to the already cramped bathroom. 

"It already takes you hours to fucken fall asleep and then some dumb ass decided that you need books in your life." he continues as he goes to sit on the sink. 

"Reading is good for children. Teacher at work say so." Svetlana says as she throws her husband a hand full of bubbles. 

"Yeah yeah. Sure, when it's not your night to read to the little shit it's good for him but on your nights we hear you complaining in Russian so we won't understand what the fuck your saying." 

"I understand what she's saying papa and it's not very nice." Yevgeny says as Ian rinses his now clean body. 

"It is nothing too bad just saying that I don't know why I listen to stupid ass teacher" Svetlana says with a laugh.

As Mickey was up stairs reading, and probably complaining about reading, with Yev, Svetlana went about her normal routine of getting things ready for the morning. No matter how many times she told Yevy to put his shoes together she still spent hours searching for them. And it was always the damn right shoe! She could easily pick out a different pair each morning but her chubby blue eyed boy was on an Avenger kick so he had to wear those shoes. They were lucky that they had an assortment of superhero shirts or he would probably throw fits about his clothes too. 

As far as babies went Svetlana was sure she had won a baby lotto. Yevy wasn't a crier or much of a fit thrower unless he was hungry and he never really got to the point of an empty belly with the way he ate. Any time he ate it was like he hadn't eaten in days and would inhale his food. But she noticed that all the Milkovich siblings ate the same way, she figured it was because when they were younger they didn't really have enough food to go around so they had to eat what they did have fast before someone else took it. Yev didn't have that issue, he would luckily never know what it was like to go hungry like his mama, papa or daddy Ian had when they were kids.

"Why me and not your actual husband?" her orange boy says as she's getting ready to go upstairs to her room. "Why would you want to risk having a kid who might be bipolar like me?" 

"Why take risk and have a good, big hearted baby with hair the color of fire?" Svetlana questions him back. "Your mother had six children, only one gets what she has. We have one baby it has less chance getting it, yes?" 

"So we're playing Russian roulette with a kid and a disorder?" 

"Good thing I'm Russian, so I win." She says as she continues up the stairs. 

"I'll do it. Because I do really want my own kid, not that Yevy isn't my kid but you get what I mean. But we gotta tell Mick together. And maybe have a witness when he kills us both." Ian tells her as he pushes his hair back from his face and leaves his hands on his head. A move she's seen all the Gallagher siblings do at one point. 

"We go to Alibi, that way we have lots of witnesses." She says with a laugh as she walks into her room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have a few chapters written out so they should be up pretty consecutively I just need to go back and make sure my spelling isn't completely off. And also take out all the 'y'alls' I had since folks in Chicago don't use y'all as much as I do, or even at all.

"ARE YOU TWO OUT OF YOUR FUCKEN MINDS?" Mickey roared at his wife and boyfriend.   

One of these days Svetlana was going to learn to start writing shit down before she even opened her big mouth. She had fucked up when she had asked Ian and from the sounds Mickey was making and how high his eyebrows were on his head this wasn't going much better. They had forgone the Alibi idea once they remembered that anything that happened there would be public knowledge before they even made it home. So instead they had had a nice dinner at home. Ian had made sure there was plenty of his partners favorite beer and whiskey in hopes that the alcohol would help their case.  

It wasn't.   

"I know this was your fucken idea Svet. You're not happy unless you're knocked up. And since you couldn't find some barren fucks to help out you decide that we need another fucken mouth to feed." Mickey yells as he gets up to get another beer. "So my answer to your stupid ass question is no. No, not just no but hell the fuck no!" 

"Come on Mick. Yev does need siblings, think about where we would be if we didn't have so many brothers and sisters." Ian says as he gets up and wraps his arms around the smaller mans waist.   

"We'd be better off if you want the truth." Mickey mumbles. 

"No, you like siblings. Mandy and Iggy have grown on you. You enjoy time with them now." Svetlana interjects. 

"They've grown on me like damn fungus." Her brunette says with a laugh. "We've gone over four years with only having sex twice and I think our marriage should stay that way." 

"Three times." Svetlana corrects him

"WHAT?!" Both boys say in unison 

"Yes, time we make Yevy. Wedding night, which was just as fucken strange with your father listening at door. And few months later when you were shit faced and moaned Ian's name. And that made a girl feel real fucken special." 

"I don't remember so it doesn't count." said moaner says with an eye roll. 

"Woah...... we'll talk about that later Mick. But you weren't listening, like usual, Svet will be having my kid. So it won't be you she'll be fucking." Ian says as he slowly backs away from his partner because if he's reading the look on Mickey's face right someone is about to get their ass beat. And not in the good way.   

As Mickey continues his murderous glare towards her and processes that new information Svetlana thinks back to the day she thought her husband finally wanted her. She had worked her hours at the rub 'n tug and came home so tired that all she wanted to do was wash the stench of drunken dirty males off her and sleep for days. Just as she had finally gotten into a comfortable position for and her ever growing belly Mickey decided to come stubbing in, turning on every light and making enough noise to wake the dead. For the most part he left her alone when they were in their bed, unless she was too close to him then he'd roughly push her over. Yet that night he came in and laid right next to her. Like he needed to be close to her and feel her warmth. He had even laid his hand on her stomach to feel their growing child. It was sadly the first and only time he had done that. The next thing she knew he was pulling off her shirt and nuzzling her breast. What happened next had been rough and fast but she had endured worse in her line of work so she figured for her husband she would gladly take it. She was almost getting into it when the bastard ruined it by moaning Ian's name into her neck. In that moment she hated Ian with such a passion because that idiot was always ruining shit and he wasn't even around!     

"Mick, I love you but your impression of a fish is getting real fucken old. Stop opening and closing your mouth and just say whatever is on your mind!" Ian said with an exasperated sigh. 

"Will you really keep this from our Yevy? I know you hear when he asks when we are going to keep one of the babies I have. Plus when we become old people it is too much for him to take care of three of us. With siblings they share responsibilities and we might even get baths then." Svetlana says with a laugh hoping to lighted her husbands darkened mood. 

"We aren't going be become old people. We'll be dead by the time we're 50. Between our smoking and drinking, your prostitution and the shitty neighborhood we live in I'm surprised we've made it this fucken far."

"Please Mick. I really want this." 

Had Svetlana said that in such a sad little voice her stupid husband would have ignored her, yet Ian saying it broke any of the resolve Mick had about another baby. Which was fine.  
Really it was fine.  
Nope, it didn't hurt her feelings anymore that her husband loved Ian and merely tolerated her.  
Why should it?  
Damn bastards the both of them. 

Svetlana watched as they wrapped their arms around each other and spoke is low whispered tones. As the taller boy reassured his shorter partner that it was a good idea. How having another child would make them even more of a family. How he needed this. A better person would have walked away and let the couple have their private moment but that better person was not her. Her boys (and they would always be boys because no matter how much time had passed she would always see them as the scared bloody boys sitting on dirty couches waiting for Terry Milkovich to decide their fate) were used to her interrupting their moments with either loud sighs or the occasional gagging sound. Mickey had learned to ignore her. Ian had been kind enough to include her in their hugs sometimes, much to the annoyance of his boyfriend. 

She was lucky enough to have a picture of one of their three way hugs, in a frame, in the living room. It had been at Ian's 21st birthday at the Alibi and Debbie was taking more pictures than anyone ever needed to take. Ian had wrapped his arms around Svetlana to pose for their hundredth picture of the night when Mickey had come over to replace Ian's empty cup with a new full one and had been forced to take a picture with them. Mickey's original plan to just stand close to them had failed when Ian reached around and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist to make a Svetlana sandwich. That itself had been a great picture yet Yevy who wasn't one to be left behind had come running to wrap himself around his daddy Ian's legs making it the greatest picture they had ever taken. Because really how many women could say they had a picture with their son, husband and husband's boyfriend taken in the exact place their husband had came out at, telling every person there that he was a big ol' mo?  Not very many is probably the answer. 

"I wanna be there. It's only right since you were there when Yev was made." Mickey says with finality 

"Mick me being there then and you being around this time is far from right. " Ian answers back. 

"The answer's back to no than if I can't fucken be there. Svet, what do you say?" 

"I say fine. At least we won't have gun waved at us this time. I let you know when I'm most fertile so we have better chance of baby."   

Nine days later, according to the app on her phone, Svetlana was her most fertile.      

****

"Tell me again why we can't have our usual Thursday dinner here this week? And why I have to take Yev over to my place for a few hours?" Mandy's nosey ass asked for the tenth time.   

"I have new couple coming to see if I'll be surrogate for them." Svetlana says as she packs toys and snacks in Yevy's backpack for him to take with him.   

"Yeah, see when I called my dumb ass brother he said everyone had to work late so you wouldn't have to time to cook. Yet here you are with plenty of time on your hands."

"Your shit brother never knows what is going on in our home."   

"Yup, so then I called my idiot best friend and he said something along the lines of meet the family night at his job. But when I told him that shouldn't Yevgeny go since he's part of the family he laughed and said "I'll call you later Manderella." In all our years of knowing each other he's never called me fucken Manderella. That's an ugly ass name. I know they have this weird thing with stupid ass nicknames but that was uncalled for." her sister in law says with a scrunched nose as she adds more snacks to the already full backpack.   

"Manderella Milkovich has nice ring to it, no?"   

"No, now stop with all the bullshit and tell me what's going on!"   

"If I give you money for pizza will you go away and stop with so many fucken questions?"   

"Fine, but only because I'm to lazy to actually cook for us. Just know that I'll be back to asking questions once everyone gets fed." Mandy agrees as she makes her way to the door with Yevgeny in tow. She's almost at the gate when she double backs to get the backpack Svetlana has dangling from her hand. "Can't have Yev going hungry on our walk can we?" she says with a laugh.

Before Svetlana had learned to tolerate Mickey or bond with Ian she had formed a fast friendship with Mandy. Most women couldn't stand their sister in laws, yet five minutes into meeting her's she knew they would like each other. Mandy was a good girl in a shitty situation and needed a new person to help with the dysfunction at the Milkovich house and because Svetlana hadn't had a real friend since leaving Russia they clung to each other. Plus Mandy gladly accepted her because now she had someone to share the burden known as Terry with and with someone new to entertain him Mandy had been able to be away from home more.   

When Svetlana had gone into labor with her precious raven haired boy Mandy was the only one there holding her hand. Sure, she bitched the whole time about her fingers possibly falling off but the point was that she was there for her. She was even good for a laugh or two.   

Like when she told Svetlana that with her line of work she's surprised the kid didn't just slip out.   

Or when Yev's head was coming out she asked if it was weird that a guy was pushing his way out instead of trying to push himself in.   

And her all time favorite was "For a gross bloody alien he's the cutest baby ever. I won't even be embarrassed to tell people that he's my nephew."   

Milkovichs sure did have a way with words. 

With the way her life with Mickey and Ian had spiraled out of control the few weeks after Mandy left she didn't get a chance to really miss her. Though once her and Yev were back home and things were as normal as they could be for them she had begged Mickey to go get her. She didn't want the next time she saw her favorite sister in law to be at her funeral. Mickey being the asshole he was said that it was her choice to be there and that she said she was fine. Getting sporadic texts from Mandy saying she was fine didn't necessarily mean she was actually fine, but of course Mickey didn't go get her.   

Yet she knew both Mickey and Ian had been worried about her too. After any of the few calls they would get from Mandy they would talk about going to rescue her, until Mickey would say some stupid shit like "She's a Milkovich, she doesn't need rescuing. She's there because she wants to be." Iggy even offered to put out a hit on Kenyatta so then Mandy would have no choice but to come home. But that required money they didn't have.   

Mandy had been a sight to see the night she finally came barging back into their home. With her black eye, broken arm and round belly no one knew what to say or do. Mick still had his empty fork lifted half way to his mouth, the food had long fallen off of it. Ian had been the first to react, getting up and gently wrapping his arms around her. Iggy had followed with a swift hug and a quiet "Glad you're alive Mands." Mickey followed with the same gentleness he only ever used with Ian and Yev. She was expecting at least a few kinds words, maybe even an I missed you or something, but Mickey was an honest bastard who didn't hold back. "You stupid skank. It took you fucken long enough to get your head out of your ass and come home. What the fuck happened?" A different girl might have cried with the way her brother had spoken to her, especially with the hell Mandy had just obviously gone through, instead with a sigh of relief to be back home she just answered "The fucken bastard thought I was cheating on him."   

Five months later when Mandy went into labor (with Svetlana holding her hand and making obscene comments this time around) and pushed out a son who wasn't half black Svet didn't judge or say anything. The same did not apply to Mickey who's first words about his nephew were "Why does the baby meat look more like a Paco then a fucken Kenyatta?" Mandy too enamored with her bundle just shrugged. Mickey not being one to let shit go continued "Guess the crazy bastard was right about your ass cheating on him, huh?"   

"He didn't have to break my fucken arm!" was Mandy's only defense.        

****  
"Did Mandy come for the kid already?" Mickey all but yells as he comes through the door. "We need to get this shit show on the road before I change my mind."   

"You can't change your mind Mick. But even if you did we out vote you so it won't matter." Ian continues as he greets him with a kiss.   

"Are you sure you really want to do this?  Svet could always find some other fucktard to knock her up if she really wants a kid that damn bad."   

"I want this too. Sure if we had the funds we could do the whole insemination thing, which would be a whole hell of a lot less awkward, but since we don't we might as well do it the good old fashioned way. And did you just call me a fucktard? "   

"Did you say yes because she threatened you with a hammer again?"   

"I only waved hammer at him once and I was pregnant so I blame hormones." Svetlana says as she walks out of the kitchen offering him a tumbler of whiskey. "Here, so you won't be uptight asshole. I even stole the good shit."    
"Gentlemen Jack?" Mickey asks as he reaches for his drink. "Ahhhh, nothing like my good friend Jack." he says after taking a sip.   

Svetlana was well into her second glass of vodka by the time Mickey had gotten home yet her hands still had a slight tremor to them as she went to pour her husband a refill. She had never needed alcohol for any of her whore-ish escapades but having sex with a guy she cared for in hopes of conceiving a child had her way out of her element. She had been used to name less strangers not orange boys who she knew and hoped to know for the rest of her sad little life.   

From the way Ian was clutching his half empty beer she knew he was still nervous too. When she offered him his choice of Vodka or Whiskey earlier to help calm his nerves he had reached for a beer instead saying beer mixed a little better with his meds than hard liquor did. Svetlana knew if she didn't make the initial move they would sit here the rest of the night chugging Whiskey, sipping vodka and nursing a beer. Now, she just had to get up, take her clothes off and hope Ian would follow her to get this over with. Yet something kept her standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Second guessing herself wasn't something she was used to.   

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Yev did have cousins. Or perhaps Mickey was right and she could easily find a random stranger to get her pregnant if she wanted a child that badly.   

"Mick take a chair because you can't sit on the bed with us." Ian says as he takes a swig of whiskey from the bottle, grabs Svetlana's hand and makes his way up the stairs to her room with a look of determination he didn't have a few minutes ago.   

See, she knew she had made the right decision.   

Svetlana's room had never felt so small and cluttered like it did now. The tension in the air was sure to suffocate her if they didn't get to the actual fucking soon. However between Mick's complaining that his chair needed to be close but not too close, Ian's bladder deciding it was full and needed relieving and her new found shyness with taking her clothes off they weren't off to a good start. When Ian came back into the room she figured it was now or never. So with as much courage as she could muster she proceeded to take her clothes off.     

"Are you nervous?" she found herself asking Ian. 

"A little." he answers as he pulls his shirt off. "Now's probably a good time to tell you I've never fucked a girl before."   

Svetlana had thought as much but hearing it out loud was still a shock to her. She wanted to question how he had been sure he was even gay if he had never been with a girl. How you could say you knew something wasn't for you if you had never felt the softness of a female under you, only the hard plains of a male body. Then again some people just knew what was best for them, they didn't need to try everything like she her self had.   

She also wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. She had heard on multiple occasions the sounds of Mickey and Ian's fucking so she knew Ian knew what he was doing with his dick. Yet here he was like a shy virgin, and in a sense he was, not knowing exactly what to do with her. Had it been one of the guys who had paid for her services she would have hopped on and ridden him until he came. With minimal eye contact and lots of fake moans.   

This wasn't one of those situations though.   

"I don't understand why you gotta take all your damn clothes off. You could've worn pants with a hole in the crotch area." Mickey complains from his chair, whiskey bottle still in hand.   

"I leave bra on so I am not completely naked, ok?"   

"No that's not fucken ok."   

"Mick, your choices are shut the fuck up and stay in the room or get out and complain in a different room." Ian says as he stands naked before his boyfriend.  "You're making this harder than it needs to be."   

"Well good thing something is hard cuz it sure ain't your dick. What's wrong? A naked Russian whore not doing anything for you?" 

Shit, Ian wasn't anywhere near hard. Svetlana hadn't even thought about that. She just figured he would be ready and willing to go at it once they were undressed. But he wasn't. And with the way Ian was looking down at his cock she would guess he was hoping if he had an internal conversation with it it would stand to attention. As she looked on to Ian and his personal struggle she realized she wasn't exactly prepared for this either. Maybe she could ask Mick to bring up some lube for her because this was going to be uncomfortable enough so why add a dry passage to the mix.   

They could watch porn. Although that would lead to a whole other argument on what kind of porn to watch. She wouldn't mind gay porn, but she knew Mick had a weird fascination with gang bangs and Ian would probably want porn with a story line. Which was the dumbest kind of porn in her opinion. No, they needed to hurry before all her good eggs died.   

"Go to happy place." Svetlana tells Ian as she sits on the edge of her bed. "My happy place has wolf man from vampire show, who then becomes dancing boy on stripper movie. I see him all sweaty with all the muscles and he has to growl. Is better if he growls at me." she says with a far away look as she's picturing her happy place.   

"What the fuck! I don't wanna know what you picture before you get yourself off." her husband says with a look of disgust.   

"Joe Manganiello? Yeah, he's a good happy place. With the beard and slightly greying hair. And the muscles. All those muscles. Growling does help." Ian says in a far away tone mainly to himself   

"Are you fucken kidding me with this shit? What's your fucken deal with old dudes?"

"Shut up Mickey!" Svetlana and Ian say simultaneously.   

Ian fists his cock and with a few swifts flicks of his wrist he's semi-hard. She shouldn't ogle him like she is but she can't help herself. If when he's soft he's a sight to see, hard he's mesmerizing. Guys are either showers or growers, Ian is both. Cocks aren't something she would say are pretty to look at, maybe it's because she's seen so many, yet Ian's with its glistening head and veiny underside is quite beautiful. It's probably because it's the biggest one she's seen in a while too. She wonders if that's why Mickey walks funny.

"Mick's always walked funny." Ian answers her question, she hadn't realized she had even asked it aloud. "Are you ready?"   

In answer she scoots herself further on the bed and lays back. Ian, still working his hand over his cock, crawls on the bed towards her. She knows this is wrong, so very wrong, on so many different levels but she's a bit jealous that Mickey gets this beautiful boy all the time and this will only be a one time thing for her. Ian nudges her legs open with a knee as he closes in more. He doesn't look at Svetlana as he eases himself inside her. She feels a slight burn as she stretches to accommodate him and stops the moan that tries to escape her when he pulls out a bit.   

Ian's eyes are tightly shut as he concentrates on his moves in her. It's slow and gentle, something she's never felt before. She doesn't know if she should enjoy each move he makes, the languid strokes as he goes in and out of her body, or if she should close her eyes and pretend she is anywhere else but here like she often did when she sold her body.   

His face is now red and she sees the slight sheen of sweat building on his brow. Before she can even stop herself she's lifted her hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead. Ian's eyes fly open, the look of shock on his face when he realizes it's her touching him bothers her more than she would like to admit, but the smile that follows is just for her which is a small consolation. She smiles back as her body reacts to the faster moves Ian is making in her, her back arches and there is no stopping the moan that escapes her this time. Ian chuckles when he hears her moaning yet she's afraid if she makes to much more noise it will ruin the moment they are sharing. So with her mouth firmly shut she lets Ian's invasion to her body continue.   

Ian lowers his body more on to her, one hand moves to the pillow she has under her head, the other on her hip. She's just about decided to finally close her eyes and enjoy the rest of the ride when Ian's eyes open again to look at her, she's not sure if it's wishful thinking or if his face is actually leaning in closer to kiss her. She takes a risk and starts to lift herself to meet him half way when out of no where a hand is shoved in her face and she's unceremoniously pushed back into her pillow.   

"Woah, woah, woah! What the fuck is going on? It's bad enough I'm letting Ian stick my...our....his cock in you but now you wanna shove your tongue down his throat too. No, fuck no. Hurry the hell up, this is taking to damn long." Mickey complains as he situates himself on the bed.   

Svetlana had never known Mickey to be so quiet so it was no surprise that she had completely forgotten he was there watching the whole scene unfold. Mick was always there running his mouth when it came down to her that she had been sure they would have had a running commentary the whole time Ian was fucking her. Now with a scowl on his face, arms crossed over his chest and legs stretched out in front of him she knew the rest of her and Ian's baby making would be less intimate.   

"If I go faster and maybe a bit harder I'll be done sooner, is that ok?" Ian asks once he turns away from side eyeing Mickey.   

"Don't fucken ask, just go at it." her husband voices from his position on the bed.   

"Mick go back to your damn chair."   

"I like you better when you were quiet in your corner." Svetlana tells him.   

As Mickey makes a big production of getting up and going back to his own little corner Ian starts moving again. His pace slowly increasing, each thrust harder than the last. She knows she should lay completely still and let Ian do all the work. Especially if she wants Mickey to stay quiet, but her body's instincts kick in and before she knows it she's lifted her body and moves to meet each of Ian's thrusts. His pace is fast and hard now, near brutal but she gladly takes it. Each moment their bodies meet he rubs up against her just where she needs it, the friction building up a glorious torment to her body. Groaning, she rolled her hips to take more of him, she might as well enjoy this while it lasted. With a deep thrust he rubbed up against her igniting the climax building in her. Svetlana, with her head thrown back, hands clutching the sheets beneath her stayed as quiet as she could as her orgasm rips from her body. As she clamped around Ian's cock he gave one last jut of his body and with a deep moan released in to her.   

"Shit. Fuck, that was different. I'm still deciding if it was a good different or bad different." Ian says as he lets all his weight down on to her. She welcomes his heat and savors in it before their moment is over. A minute passes before Mickey clears his throat reminding them of his presence again. Ian then smiles at her and kisses her forehead before he pulls out and moves away from her. Svetlana hurries to place a pillow under her ass and lifts her legs to the air. 

"What are you doing?" he asks with a confused expression.   

"I help sperm get to where it needs to go. With legs in air you can not leak out of me."

"And I thought what I had just witnessed would be the strangest shit I saw today. This better fucken work because you aren't doing this shit again. That cock is mine!" Mickey calls from his chair.   

"Awww Mick, are you jealous? If it helps any I was thinking of your beautiful ass the whole time." Ian says as he gets off the bed and walks over to him.   

Svetlana feels they've gone full circle. She's had sex with both this idiots now and they were thinking of each other the whole time. Instead of it bothering her she simply finds it funny. Too bad she has no one to share this particular development with. She can't tell Mandy because Mickey is her brother and no sister likes to hear about their brother having sex. Debbie will making gagging noises if she hears anything about Ian. Maybe once she knows she is with child she can tell Vee, she's sure to appreciate it.   

"I have another round left in me if you wanna go at it Mick?" Ian tells him as he kneels in front of him.   

"Get the hell away from me. You still have Svetlana's juices on you!"   

"Mick I didn't know you were a voyeur. You're hard." Ian states as he palms his boyfriends dick through his shorts.   

"My view was you flexing your ass, of course I fucken got hard." Mickey defends himself with a huff.   

"You like my ass that much do you?"  

"Mickey has nicer ass in relationship. It is rounder and almost bubbly, no?" Svetlana says as Ian laughs and nods his head in agreement   

"I do not have a bubble butt. And you keep your trap shut and your legs in the air so this shit will...."   

"Hey where the hell ..... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Mandy yells as she swings the door open   

Svetlana is sure the scene in front of Mandy looks ridiculous. Her mostly naked with her legs in the air, Mickey sitting in a chair as a naked Ian kneels before him while groping his erection.   

"Why are you people so fucken weird? Out of all the dysfunctional families in the world I end up with you shits! I don't even want to know what the hell was going on. Yev's in his room so I suggest someone go to him before he sees this and is scarred for life." Mandy finish her rant with a stomp of her foot and slams the door.   

"If it is girl I say we name her Manderella." Svetlana says as she props another pillow under her and then laughs at the still startled expression on Ian and Mickey's faces.


	3. Chapter 3

Before Svetlana knows it a whole month has passed her by. A whole month of wiping noses, cleaning up messes, reminding boys that pee goes in the toilet not around it and breaking up boys fighting over the last cookie, and that's just at home! Work is about the same except she gets paid there and the children she deals with are a bit better behaved than her own child. She loves her Yev, she really truly does, but he can be such a little shit sometimes. She blames the Milkovich genes because the scowl he's perfected over the years is the same one her husband makes, his need to threaten anyone who gets too close is all Mandy and that blank stare he gives when you asked him if he's picked up all his toys is Iggy's regular look.   

Poor kid was doomed from the womb.  

The only thing he didn't get from his father's family was the desire to sleep in most mornings. It was only about eight and she could already hear him in his room making such a ruckus, but between the amount of shit Ian bought him and the shit Iggy stole for him she knew Yev could be content in his room alone for hours. One of the first times she had heard him laughing and carrying on a conversation with himself she had been worried her son was crazy, but after talking to Fiona (who even though had lots of faults bad parenting wasn't really one of them) she assured her that Yev was perfectly normal with an active imagination. Mickey still found it creepy and would check every corner of Yev's room to make sure there wasn't actually someone in the room with him.     

Svetlana knows her son will be hungry soon so she might as well get up from the comfort of her bed to start breakfast. She swings her legs over the edge of the bed and goes to stand but with each movement her stomach starts to churn. As she finally stands a bout of dizziness hits her and the contents in her stomach threaten to come up. With deep breaths she slowly sits back on the bed, with one hand rubbing her stomach the other tries to sooth the pain in her head. She continues her breathing, in through her nose out through her mouth, as the dizziness subsides. Putting breakfast on hold for now she closes her eyes and lays back with her feet still dangling off the bed, her face feels clamy and it could just be her cold hands but she feels that her face is warm too. As she continues with her breathing she hears soft footsteps coming into her room, followed by the shifting of her bed as someone climbs on it. 

"Mama? What are you doing?" Yev asks as he places a hand on her face. 

"Trying to not throw up."  She answers in between deep breaths. 

"Ooh. I'm hungry, are you gonna make me breakfast?" Any other kid might show concern for their parent, ask if they needed anything, but nope not her little shit. And okay, maybe the selfish trait is the one thing he did get from her but she'll continue to blame the Milkovich's. Once she feels like her insides won't make an appearance on her shirt she slowly opens her eyes. She's greeted with bright blue eyes staring back her. With his tussled black hair, crooked smile and Captain America pajamas Yev's the cutest kid she's ever seen. And she's not just saying that because she had him, she's popped out some funny looking babies. True they weren't really her's but they did grow in her so she just assumed they'd be cute like her Yev had been. They weren't. 

"Are you ok now?" Yev asks with real concern 

"Yes, I'll be fine" 

"Do you want to make me some oatmeal? We can share, maybe it'll make you feel better."     
She knew there was no point in closing her eyes again and pretending she was asleep. Yev would continue to pester her until she got up and fed him. So with as much energy she can can feign she gets up, picks up her chubby boy and makes her way down stairs. Yev continues talking about what he would like for breakfast but all it does is make her more queasy, she's tempted to tell him to shut the hell up. Yet she knows he'll just raise an eyebrow at her and keep talking, possibly even louder than before. When they finally make it down the steps she feels even worse, the dizziness has made another appearance so she carefully puts Yev down on the couch and sits down. With her head between her legs she starts her breathing technique from earlier.   

A small hand pats her back as she's willing away the nausea that won't seem to leave her. She thinks back to see if any of the kids at work have been sick and she someone how got what they had but no one comes to mind. She hasn't eaten anything strange either. Maybe she just has a 24 hour bug? Before she can think anymore about bugs or sick children the remains of last night's dinner starts making it's way up her throat. She barely has enough time to run to the kitchen sink before she's throwing up what feels like all her insides. As the last dry heave leaves her body she realizes what her problem is.   

She's pregnant. 

It's not like she could forget about fucking her husband's lover she had simply pushed it to the back of her mind. Part of her didn't want to think about it in case she didn't get pregnant because not only would she be upset but so would Ian. Mickey would be pissed that they had had sex for no reason and would blame her for not getting pregnant. Now, knowing Mick, he'd probably be pissed because she was pregnant.   

She was pregnant!   

Or at least she hoped she was. She would have to find time to go to the store alone so she could pick up a pregnancy test with out letting anyone at home see. The last thing she wanted was to get Ian all excited to then just tell him she wasn't knocked up after all. She's rinsing out her mouth when she feels someone looking at her. She turns around slowly expecting one of the older guys in her home not an almost four year old starring daggers at her.   

"You pushed me when you got up! I almost fell off the couch!" her son tells her angrily. 

"Are you bleeding?" 

"No, because I didn't fall but I almost did!" 

"Than you are fine!" 

"Can I get breakfast now?" as an after thought he adds "If you're feeling better." 

"Yevy go find your papa or daddy they will feed you. I go lay down for a little bit." Just going to the stairs feels like she's walked miles so she's sure she'll only make it half way up them before her legs give out. Instead she turns and makes her way to the couch. She lays down and covers herself with a jacket she finds on the floor, it smells of cigarette smoke, laundry softener and Ian, she's afraid it'll upset her rumbling stomach more but instead it seems to calm it a bit. Somewhere between deep breaths and trying not to die she must have fallen asleep because she's suddenly jolted awake by the sound of her son and husband talking.  

"Why does this kitchen smell like throw up?"   
"Mama threw up in the sink. Can you make oatmeal?" 

"What the hell kid, why didn't you tell me your mom was sick?" 

"I don't know. I like your oatmeal, mama leaves hard parts and daddy Ian's oatmeal doesn't taste like anything." 

"Your mom does make some hard ass oatmeal, mushy oatmeal is the only way to eat it. And Ian doesn't add sugar to it. I on the other hand think the more shit you add to it the better it tastes." Mickey says as she hears him opening drawers and cabinets getting things together for Yev's breakfast.   

Had someone told her that Mickey Milkovich would one day be the kind of father to carry on a conversation with his kid while making him breakfast she would've asked what they were smoking. Svetlana knew that at the beginning anytime Mickey would see Yevgeny he would think back to the awful day he had been conceived, what she had tried to convince her husband of was that it was no fault of Yev's that he was here now. He was just the innocent outcome of a shitty situation. It had taken a few months, a couple fights and some threatening for Mick to finally come around. Now she knew that Mick loved their son, he would willingly want to spend time with him and play with him. Even pick him up and hug him for no reason other than he could.   

"Can I have a pop-tart while I'm waiting?" Yev asks Mickey 

"Jesus, kid why are you always hungry? How about we share a pop-tart, if I can find them." 

"Mama puts them at the very top so I can't reach them." 

"No, your mama puts things at the very top because she's a sadistic bitch." 

"What's sbadistics mean?" 

"That she's a meany who likes to watch me suffer." 

"Oh, yeah. I think I'm sbadistics too because at school I like pushing kids down and then laughing when they cry. But if I see Miss Lucy coming I have to hurry and hug them and tell them I'm sorry or I'll sit in time out." 

"Damn Yev, I don't know if I should be really proud of you or afraid." 

"I say proud, Papa."   

With the lull of her husband and son's laughter Svetlana drifts off to sleep. She suddenly finds herself in St. Petersburg again, the sounds of home assaulting her ears. The rush of people bustling through the city. The chill in the air making her wish she had brought her big coat with her but her papa had told her to only bring necessary items with her. She's looking around trying to see where they are going and why her Papa looks so upset about having to take her, even though it was his idea that she leave, when she hears her name being yelled out. Unfortunately there are too many people around to see who is calling out her name. Svet! She hears again, she twists out of her father's grip to stop and search for the person seeking her out. Svet! She sees her mother running through the crowd towards her but she knows that it isn't right. 

Cancer had taken her mama from her last winter, that's why her papa was shipping her off to someone who knew how to deal with teenage girls. She hears her mother yell for her again, so like a bullet Svetlana is off running towards her. Her fathers goes to pull her back but she fights him, she needs to hug her mother one last time. She can see her mother's face more clearly now, the round face of her youth not the tired old lady she had become the last few months of her life. She almost near her when the crowd seems to grow and push them further apart, she just needs a few minutes with her mama to absorb all the love and comfort from her arms one last time. Svet! It's louder now almost right behind her so she turns hoping to have finally reached her mother but now it's the sick version of her mother who is fading away as she gets closer. She's yelling, pleading for her to stay. 

With the splash of tears on her face she knows she won't reach her mother before she's faded away completely so she stops and to let the tears continue wetting her face as she watches her mother fade out to nothingness. 

"Dammit Svet, wake the hell up." Mickey shouts at her as he splashes her face with more water. 

"What are you doing?" She asks as she swats away more splashes of water Mickey continues to spray on her. 

"Are you okay? You were making weird noises and it sounded like you were crying." Ian asks from the other side of the couch, looking down at her with concerned eyes. 

"I am fine, just bad dream." She says as she sits up.  She opens her mouth to ask where Yev is but instead makes an awful gagging sound. Mick nearly falls over trying to jump away from her in case she throws up. 

"You don't look fine. You're pale, almost Mickey pale" Mickey makes scoffs at this but adds 

"And Yev says you threw up this morning too." 

"I have bug." She says with a shrug 

"A baby bug?" Ian asks with a hopeful expression. Svetlana just shrugs some more in reply. "Your period is late, right?" 

"What the fuck, Ian! How do you know when the hell Svet's supposed to be on her period?" 

"Because, unlike you, I notice things in our home and I usually know when to be nicer to Svet unless I want to be threatened and unfed!"   

As Mickey and Ian continue discussing her bodily functions like she's not in the room she starts counting days to see just how late her period is. If she's counting right, and she probably isn't, she's only about four days late. So it could be too soon to tell if she's even pregnant, right? With Yev she thought her sickness was due to her job choice finally catching up to her and she had contracted some STD, after weeks of thinking she was dying she finally went to a free clinic. There they told her her disease was called pregnancy and she would be fine in a few months. With her surrogacy's it is all very planned out that the doctor tells her she's pregnant before any of the morning sickness even shows up. She starts an internal scan of her body to see if she feels any different, maybe she's missing other signs. She is extremely tired and all she has really done today is walk down the stairs. Her breasts are a little achy but they feel that way before her period comes so that's not really any help now. She has been nauseous off and on throughout the week but today is the first time she's actually thrown up.   

"I bought a pregnancy test the other day if you wanna take it?" Ian says cutting into her thoughts.   

A few minutes later, once Svetlana has worked up enough energy, she takes the test Ian offers her and goes up the stairs to her restroom. She's never wanted to pass a test so bad in her life. She knows adding another baby to her dysfunctional family is exactly what they need. Why, she's not exactly sure but it's just a feeling she has. She checks on Yev before she makes it to the restroom, he's happily playing on the floor with his toys and his favorite cartoon playing on the tv. As she makes her way to the restroom she notices that both Ian and Mickey are following her. She simply ignores them and walks in to the restroom however before she can shut the door a hand stops it from closing. 

"Can I come in with you?" Ian shyly asks her.

"You want to watch me pee on stick?" 

"We'll close our eyes, even though we've both seen it all. Multiple times." Mickey says as he shoves Ian in to the restroom and then closes the door behind them.   

Knowing her husband is right she doesn't protest and let's them stay. Her hands shake as she positions herself on the toilet with the test under her. It shouldn't be this difficult to pee on a stick but she knows the first few seconds of her stream miss the stick completely so she has to move her hand around. When she's done she puts the cap back on the test and sets it on the counter. After she's done washing her hands she closes the toilet seat and waits for her five minutes to be up. Ian is sitting on the edge of the tub looking at Mick who seems to be holding the wall up looking grumpy as usual.   

"This is the longest five minutes of my life." Mick sighs after maybe thirty seconds of waiting. 

"You would think it wouldn't take so long, it's a yes or no answer." Ian says as he gets up to pace the small confines of the restroom. "I'm gonna look, ok?" 

"It might be too soon to be sure so don't expect to much, yes?" 

"Oh, fuck." is Ian's only response as he looks at the pregnancy test now in his hand. 

"Oh, fuck." Mickey mumbles as he looks around Ian's arm to see the test.   

Before Svetlana can even ask what it says she's suddenly pulled off the toilet and is plastered against Ian's chest as he hugs her tightly. "I knocked you up!" he cheers. "I'm gonna be a daddy!" Then like the idiots they are the start yelling, jumping, laughing and even clapping with excitement. Mick is even pulled into the jumping and though he's not as excited as Ian he does smile and hug both Ian and Svetlana. Their celebration is rudely interrupted by the door swinging open and an unhappy little boy stomping into the restroom.   

"Why is it okay for you to be all in the restroom together but when I try to come in when one of you is in here I get yelled at and told to get out! It's not fair! And I can't hear the ninja turtles on the tv when you're yelling so be quiet!" Yev yells before he stomps back to his room.   

"I really hope this kid isn't as grumpy as the first kid we got." Ian says smiling before he pulls Svetlana back into a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

There were two things Svetlana knew for sure about this pregnancy; 1, This kid was trying to kill her. 2, She was going to kill Ian before the kid popped out. It's not the she didn't appreciate his constant hovering, his need to ask her if she was ok every five minutes or his need to offer her food every time he saw her. It was sweet and it made her feel special, for like the first three weeks after they found out she was pregnant but it had gotten old real fast. He would wake her up at the ass crack of dawn telling her she needed exercise in her life because it would help produce a healthy baby. Then he would give her a shake full of protein and green stuff like kale.   

Who the hell puts kale in a morning shake?!   

Then it was the restrictions of eating certain foods, she could have all the eggs, salmon and sweet potatoes she could stuff her self with but she couldn't eat a hot dog! A hot dog! And if there was one thing she loved about America it was its love for processed meats. She and Yevy could eat a whole package of hot dogs in one sitting if you let them but now, sadly, they were a banned food in their house. Apparently, according to Ian, the liquid it's packaged in is harmful to the baby, she told him she could just rinse the hot dog off before she ate it but Ian still told her no. She almost cried when he threw the whole package she had just bought in the trash!   

She understood that he was concerned and wanted to bring a healthy child into the world but she had eaten all kinds of junk and smoked all through her pregnancy with Yev and he turned out perfectly fine. Yet when she tried using that excuse Mickey, the idiot who was never on her side, said that Yev had a cough that never quite went away and had looked like a diseased alien the first few weeks of his life. He also added that he would bet good money on that being the result of all the shit she ingested while she was pregnant. 

Then to top off all the things Ian was putting her through the kid growing in her decided that it didn't like any of the healthy stuff  it was being forced to eat either so Svetlana spent a good part of her mornings hugging the toilet. Sometimes mid-afternoon her and the toilet at work would spend quality time with each other too. And let's not forget to mention the dizziness that would still hit her from time to time for no apparent reason. She was probably just reaching her second month and she was already second guessing her bright idea of having another baby. Between Yev, and her two surrogate babies, she thought she was a pro at the whole pregnancy thing. Turns out she was wrong. 

She'll blame the crazy Gallagher genes this time around.   

Friday morning Svetlana finds herself being woken up by a sudden pressure on her chest, followed by gentle slaps to her face. If that hadn't been enough to wake her up the whispered "Mama are you still sleepin?" in a quiet little voice was sure to do it. Svet could easily feigh sleepiness and ignore her son because she knew he would eventually move on to wake up some else in their home. She wouldn't though, because she enjoyed their alone time in the mornings. 

The pressure on her chest decreases a bit as she feels Yev scoot his body down, she feels her son's toes on her thighs and the sting of elbows digging into her chest as Yev situates himself. Another whisper follows, "I'm hungry and I can't reach the pop-tarts." he whines. She should have known her early morning wake up call was due to Yev being hungry. She slowly opens an eye to see her son with his head propped on his hands smiling up at her.   

In a swift motion she captures Yevgeny and rolls them over so she can pin him down to the bed. She shifts so none of her weight is actually on him, just the pressure of her head as she blows raspberries on to his belly. With unabashed glee both mother and son laugh until Svetlana says "I think I'll have a Yevy sandwich this morning." as she pretends to take big bites of Yev's flushed cheeks. "Mama stop I'm gonna pee myself." Yev says between laughs as Svetlana continues to tickle him. Between pushes and labored breaths Yev finally shoves Svetlana off him. "I gotta really pee now, so you go make breakfast while I go potty." her son comands as he walks out of the room.   

Svetlana lays on her bed for a few minutes to see if this morning's nausea will start right as her day begins or be difficult and wait to hit as she's trying to make her way out the door. She must have laid there longer than expected if the huffs and stomping she hears coming in to her room are any indication.  "Mama! You're still sleeping?" Yev yells as he climbs back on to her bed. 

"I'm getting up, calm your ass down. Why must you always yell and be so grumpy?" 

"I'm not grumpy." he mocks her in a Russian accent. 

"Well if it isn't two of my three favorite Milkovich's." Ian says happily as he walks into her room with a big cup of what she is sure is full of healthy shit that tastes awful. "I brought you your morning shake, here get up and smell it, let's see if you need to make a trip to the restroom first." he tells her as he waves the cup under her nose a few times. 

It doesn't smell too bad this morning but Svetlana still gags a few times and even adds a fake cough for good measure, much to the delight of Yev giggling next to her. She shoots him a wink as she tells Ian "I'll try to drink it later." 

"It tastes better cold."  he tells her with a look of annoyance. "Here Yevy, you wanna taste it?" 

"Don't drink it kid, it's poison!" Mickey says as he comes barging into her room. He stops only to kiss Ian's shoulder and then continues to her bed where he tackles a squealing Yev to the bed.   

While Yev is being entertained Svetlana makes her way to the restroom to get ready for the day. A few minutes later, with a washed face and clean teeth, she comes back to find Yevgeny taking his pajama pants off. Once they're off, he lays back on the pillow with his arms crossed behind his head, just like Ian is. 

"Why are your pants off?" She asks as she searchers her closet for clothes to wear. 

"Papa and daddy Ian don't have pants on. Why do I gotta wear pants?" 

"Yeah Svet, why are you making our kid wear pants when this clearly is a no pants kind of home." Mick says waving his hand over himself to show his own missing pants. 

"Yeah mama, we're a no pants home!" Yev agrees. 

"Do you want matching outfit like these two idiots?" she asks Yev 

"We don't have match..... Aww shit, we do." Mick says as he looks over to Ian who is wearing the exact outfit as him, blue and green checkered boxers with a white tank top. Ian finds it hilarious, Mick not so much. "See, I told you not to get two packs of the same boxers! I should've knowns this shit would happen." 

Svetlana opens her mouth to keep making fun of them when she lets out gagging sounds instead. She sniffs the air to see what's upset her sensitive stomach and the smell of something burning assaults her. "Is something burning?" 

"Shit, I have an egg frittata in the oven. Come on Yev." Ian says reaching out to carry Yev downstairs with him. 

"What's a friftata?" 

"It's like an omelet, but with spinach and other vegetables, so it's good and good for you. Svet, don't forget your shake!" Ian yells as he and Yev make their way downstairs. 

"Do you want me to throw this shit down the drain?" Mickey asks her as he gets off the bed. 

"No, I'll drink it. It is good for us, yes?" 

"That's what Ian says." Mick says as he hands her the cup then goes to walk out of the room. He stops and slowly turns to look at her, with a thumb rubbing at his lip he tells her "Thanks." 

"For?" she asks with honest confusion. 

"The early morning runs, eating healthy shit, not smoking, you know all the shit Ians asking you to do." 

"I am doing it for healthy baby." 

"I know but you're doing it for him too, we both know that. I was worried those first few mornings that he was off his meds again, waking up before the sun came up, doing that being high on fucken life shit. First thing I would do when I woke up was check to make sure his med container was missing the days meds. I couldn't ask him unless I wanted another shoe to my fucken head like the last time I asked." 

That had been at least a year ago, but it was still funny. Svetlana, Yev and Mickey were already in the kitchen eating breakfast when Ian had come in being extremely mopey and not wanting to talk to anyone so Mick being the concerned boyfriend asked if he had taken his meds yet. Instead of answering, Ian had taken off his boot and thrown it right at Mickey's head causing him to fall out the chair. Before Mickey could even get off the floor Ian was over him giving him swift kick with his shoeless foot, putting literal meaning to kicking someone while they're down. With a yelled "Yes I took my damn meds, don't fucken ask again." Ian had walked out of the house. Mickey hadn't asked again since.      

Before Mick can walked out the room Svetlana stops him with her own "Thank you." 

"For?" 

"Saying yes to this whole crazy idea." 

"You and I both know I had no choice in any of it." 

"True, but at least you are not bitching about it." 

"He's too happy and excited for me to bitch about anything." 

"Still, thank you."  

"No, prob." he says with a shrug as he walks away leaving Svetlana to get ready for their busy day.    
                                                
****

"You two look like a pair of fucken idiots." Mickey tells his wife and boyfriend. 

"Fuck you, it's helping the nausea." Ian answers him as he ushers Svetlana back outside. 

After an embarrassing moment at the grocery store last week where Svetlana had thrown up in the produce aisle this had been their new idea. They would walk into a store or wherever they were, Svetlana would take a deep breath to intake all the smells there then rush back outside so the fresh air from outside would help calm her bubbling tummy. Sometimes it would take a few in and out procedures but she hadn't thrown up in public since. So, here they were on the third round of deep breath inside then rush back outside. And yeah, maybe they were getting a few strange looks, mainly from Yev and Mick, but it worked. So they were going to keep doing it.   

After signing herself in for her own doctor's appointment Svetlana goes to sit with her boys in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. As she watches Yev entertain himself with his coloring books she thinks about their adventures this morning. What should have been a routine checkup with Yevgeny turned into an hour from hell. If it wasn't bad enough that she had to wait in a room full of sickly children she had to deal with Yev wanting to play with said sickly children. Then she had to listen to Mickey complain that he had never gone to a doctor's appointment with Yev before so he didn't understand why he was there now. Ian had to remind him that they were having a family day since it was Yev's last day being three. 

"What kind of dumb fucks have a family day full of doctors appointments?"  Mickey asked as he sticks out a foot to stop a snotty nosed little blonde girl from getting too close to Yev. 

"We do, so enjoy it. I wonder if I can get a mask for Yev so he won't inhale all these kids germs?" Ian asks as he eyes the little girl who's determined to come close to Yev.

When Ian realizes that no one is going to get him a mask he pulls out hand sanitizer from Svetlana's purse to rub on Yev. She makes fun of parents like Ian, those crazy people who have first aid kits and who carry sanitizer and wipes with them. She's more of a 'wipe with the bottom of her shirt' parent. Mickey's the kind of dad who can see Yev crying from falling or getting hurt and only asks "Are you bleeding?" if the answer is no he tells Yev to go back to what he was doing. Together they probably make one really good parent.   

When it's finally Yevgeny's turn she leaves both Mickey and Ian in the waiting room, she figures they'll hinder more than help in with the doctor. After the doctor checks Yev's vision and hearing, weighs him and does a basic routine check up she asks him about school.  "I like coloring and playing with Declan. He's my best friend. He has two daddies two." 

She asks about him eating healthy foods "Daddy Ian says I have to eat green things. If I don't, I won't be tall like him, I'll stay short forever like my papa." 

Then she asks if he's able to dress himself in the mornings "I'm not a baby, lady. I even know which shoe goes on which foot." he says proudly waving his feet around for her. 

With fifteen minutes of smooth sailing behind them Svetlana was sure this had been the easiest doctor appointed up to date and then the nurse came in with shots to give Yev and it all went to shit.   

First came the screaming. The ear piercing screaming that made her eye twitch and neighborhood dogs howl. If that wasn't bad enough next came the kicking and the punching. The poor nurse probably wanted to kick him back when his foot connected to her shin. But if there's one thing she knew about her little guy, it was that he wasn't going down without a fight. Before she can even calm him down so he'll listen to her she hears pounding on a near by door. As the pounding continues she hears yells she can't quite make out, when the pounding stops she assumes the door was opened and that's when she can hear what the yells were.

"YEV!" 

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY KID?" 

"YEV!" 

"Excuse me sirs, if you just calm down I'll find out what's going on with your son."

"Fuck that I'll see for my own damn self. YEV!"   

The instant Yevgeny hears Mickey calling out for him the kicking and flapping stops, with a smirk he looks over to the doctor and as menacing as a practically four year old can muster tells her "That's my papa and he's gonna fuck you up. I'M IN HERE PAPA, HELP ME!" 

Before Svetlana can even be embarrassed that her child just told an adult that or that her idiotic husband and his boyfriend are yelling and causing a scene the door is swung open revealing a flustered Mickey and red faced Ian. 

"What the fuck? We could hear the kid down in the waiting room." Mick says as he stomps in and picks up a smiling Yev. 

"She was trying to shoot me." Yev says pointing to the now frightened nurse. 

"Your child is like you. Always yelling and screaming for no reason. He needs shots, no one was trying to shoot him." Svetlana says as she walks towards her husband and dramatic child. "You hold feet, I hold hands and Ian come cover his mouth before the screaming starts again."   

With the fiasco of holding Yev down just to get a shot behind them they then ventured out to the local party supply store to get everything they needed for the best super hero party the south side had ever seen. Had it been up to Svetlana this birthday would be no different then the previous birthdays, just family and cake. Yet, since the guys in her life like to make her life more difficult than it needs to be, Ian said Yev needed an actual birthday party this year. It would be Yev's last birthday as an only child plus the past year had been filled with them buying gifts for kids from Yev's preschool and sitting through awkward conversations with random parents that it was now Yev's turn to get gifts from those kids. 

So Ian and Mick, but mainly Ian, figured if this would be Yev's one shot at a big birthday party then they weren't going to do it half ass. Which lead to a cart full of shit that they didn't really need, she had just come for party hats and maybe a few streamers. She didn't know why they needed napkins with the Avengers on them when regular napkins worked just fine, better even. Or why you needed to decorate with balloons when they were creepy and weird, plus she had read that small children could choke on balloons. She didn't want Yev's party to be remembered as the party where a kid choked and died. Death by balloon was not the way to go! Yet, she grinned and bared it as all three of her boys had gone crazy in the store. If they wanted to buy balloon, plates, cups, whistles and masks who was she to kill their dream. 

 

Back in Svetlana's doctor's office she sits lost in her thoughts that she misses the nurse calling out her name a few times. Not until she feels Yev poking her with a crayon does she realize that people are staring at her. Ignoring odd looks she makes her way towards the nurse with her boys trailing behind her, like baby ducks in a row. She feels as if it's Yev's appointments again as she's weighed and asked stupid questions by a bored nurse. Once she's put in her own room she starts to change into the paper gown left for her, all three boys groaning and then covering their eyes as she changes. Right as Yev starts his complaining of having to keep waiting a petite Asian doctor comes in.

"Svetlana, dear, did you not just have a baby last week?" She says as she looks over the chart she carries in her hands. 

"It was a few months ago." She says slightly embarrassed, she does feel like she's always having babies but they aren't actually her babies so it doesn't really count. 

"It kind of does feel like Svet is always pregnant." Ian says as he moves Yev around on his lap. 

"Are you the lucky couple who Svetlana is being a surrogate for?" the doctor asks as she finally notices Ian, Mickey and Yevgeny. 

"No, she's my wife." 

"And that's my baby she's carrying." 

"I'm getting a baby we can keep this time. I'ma be a big brother!" Yev tells her excitedly looking up from Mick's phone. 

"Ooh ok. Well..... Well that's interesting. Let's go ahead and take a look to see about how far along you are."   

A knock on the door stops Svetlana as she's about to lean back and relax as the doctor had instructed her to do. In walks in what she's sure is the most beautiful man she's ever seen. From the choking sound coming from the chairs next to her Ian feels the same way. Taller then Ian, with jet black hair that makes Micks hair look dull, chiseled cheek bones and a warm brown eyes that make her want to drink straight from the whiskey bottle they came from, he's the walking version of a wet dream. He looks so shy and uncomfortable Svetlana just wants to get up and wrap her arms around him but that's when she notices the white doctor's coat. That's just great, she finds this tall beautiful man and he's about to get a front row view of her baby canal being stretched open. It's just her luck.

"This is Dr. Vetrov, it's his first week here. He's mainly observing if that's ok with you?" 

"You like to watch, yes?" Svetlana says before she can even stop herself. She hears a muffled laugh from one of her boys. 

"I'm just here to observe ma'am." her new favorite doctor says. She can't help but notice the red tint that's crept up his cheeks. 

"Your surname is Russian?" 

"Ummm, my grandpa was from Belarus." 

"Oh we are neighbors!" 

"Jesus, Svet stop flirting and open up your legs so we can leave." Mickey tells her. It's always Mickey ruining shit.   

Once her insides are checked and everything seems to be going great the doctor preps a wand type instrument to insert in her to listen to the babies heart beat. After the cold shocking invasion to her body she holds her breath while she waits to hear anything. Then she hears the soft thump, thump, thump of her baby's heart. With Yev she was in too much shock to appreciate hearing his heartbeat for the first time. With her surrogates she was too busy watching the parents reaction to really listen but with this baby she listens to each little thump. Each thump she tries to memorizes and have it engraved in to her mind, she wants to be about to bring up this memory anytime she needs it and be able to perfectly hear the soft thumping rhythm of her baby's heartbeat. She blindly stick her hand out reaching for someone to hold on to, it's not long before she he feels the warm clasped of a hand wrapped around hers. She turns to look at her boys and sees the tears, that are probably mirroring her own, in Ian's eyes.

"What's that sound mama?" 

"That my little Yevy is your brother or sister's heartbeat." Ian answers for her. 

"It sounds weird." 

"Are you two dumb fucks really crying?" 

"Dammit Mickey this is a beautiful moment. Stop being so emotionally constipated and appreciate the sound of our kid's heartbeat." 

"Yeah, papa stop being constipated!" 

"Fine, I'll just sit here and enjoy the heart beat of another kid who won't listen to me." Mickey scoffs. 

"Why can't we see anything?" Ian asks as he's still holding Svetlana's hand. 

"It's still too soon. I'm estimating you're at about 7 weeks, by 14 weeks you'll be able to see your child." Dr. Vetrov answers from his stool near Svetlana's legs. 

"Then we can get the sonogram pictures, right?" 

"Yes." 

"Ok cool. I'll be here for that appointment too." Ian tells him excitedly.   

Once Svetlana's up and covered and has been given her prenatal vitamin prescription, her doctor wishes them luck and walks out the room. Before her new friend Dr. Vetrov can walk out she calls out to him. "Did you enjoy the show?" After a brief hesitation he answers "It's been the best show of the day." he laughs then continues out of the room. 

"I'd leave you for him, Mick." 

"Shit, I'd leave me for him too." 

"I'd leave both you idiots for him." 

"Now that it's officially official that we're having a baby can we tell my family all about it tomorrow?" Ian asks her with more joy in his eyes then she's ever seen. 

Svetlana wants to say no, that she wants to keep them and this new baby in their own little bubble for just a bit longer. It's not that she's not excited about the baby and doesn't want to share the excitement with other people it's just that she knows how the Gallaghers react with anything to do with Ian. They fear any new thing in his life will set off another manic episode so they're very careful with him. Too careful. They see a broken boy who can't handle any pressure or stress in his life so they lie and make everything much more easier for him. They smile and tell him what he wants to hear but she sees the fear and uncertainty in their eyes. And it makes her so damn mad, he isn't broken, he doesn't need to be handled with care. Plus it's not like they have to deal with the day to day operations of making sure Ian is still their Ian and not the crazed lunatic he is when he's off his meds or the practically comatose person he is when he's trying new meds. It's them, her, Mickey and Yev, who willingly partake in all those moments with all the different Ians because they know they'll eventually get their Ian, the one who hugs a little too tightly and loves a little too strongly, back before long. But to the Gallaghers he's just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode and be a replica of a mother who didn't care enough to try for them.  

So she wants to say no, she's not ready for the fake smiles and hesitant congratulations tossed their way but instead she shrugs and gives him the option "It is up to you when you want to tell your family." She just hopes he's ready for the fake joy they give him when he shares their exciting news with them.


	5. Chapter 5

Four years ago, Svetlana had looked into the cloudy grey blue eyes of her new born son and had been instantly in love. There was no falling, it wasn't a slow process of her deciding that he was now her world, it just happened. One minute she was half a person, lost and confused in the world, the next a seven pound crying boy made her whole and helped everything make sense. This is what she had been placed on Earth for she thought, this beautiful boy who just yawned as she promised him a world that she herself didn't even know. Right then she knew that the cold, murky and almost uninhabitable slum she called home wasn't going to be good enough for him. Her baby, her little Yevgeny, deserved so much more then she could financially ever afford to give him, but if there was one thing she had an abundance of it was her love for him.     

Now Mickey's love for him was a slow drawn out process, it went from holding Yev at arms length and barely being able to look at him without flinching at the reminder of how he came to be, to rocking him until he fell asleep in Mickey's arms. Then not wanting to lay him down, in case he woke up screaming again, would be his excuse for holding Yev longer then he needed to. When Yev's first word had been a gurgled 'pa' she knew Mickey was done for. The restraints he had previously shown towards Yev had suddenly vanished and all she saw in Mick's eyes was the unconditional love a father should have for his child. So as she watched Mick's new found devotion unfold she decided that out of all the shit talking, bitch slapping, south side trash she could have ended up with she got extremely lucky that she got the one good one.     

On the morning of Yevgeny's fourth birthday she thought no different, especially since she had been woken up to hear her husband singing happy birthday, loudly and off key, to their giggling child. Still laying in her own bed, she could picture Mickey next door dressed in is his usual home attire of boxers and a sleeveless t-shirt singing and dancing around the room. He was probably doing his air guitar solo now since she couldn't hear the singing anymore. A few seconds later one last long-winded 'Happy birthday to you' is sung out and then the sounds of bed springs squeaking in protest as Yev jumps on his small bed follow. With the clapping and yelling as background noise she realizes that she does think differently now, she just didn't marry the one good guy in the south side, she married a really great one. Who just happened to bring along another great guy to love her Yev, because through all the ruckus of Mick and Yev's celebration she could hear Ian's laughter too.     

Once their commotion has died down a bit she hears Ian telling Yev to go wake her up so they could eat birthday pancakes before all the party preparations starts. Before she can even appreciate the last few minutes of quiet and solitude of the her day her door is swung open and an overly excited Yev yells "We're having birthday pancakes! Hurry and get up or I'm gonna eat'em all!" and so starts her day.     

****

"I brought pies for the birthday boy!" Fiona yells walking into the Milkovich home. 

"I like pie and it's my birthday!" Yev yells back as he runs towards his first guests. With his Superman t-shirt, Batman mask and Captain America shield he's the epitome of a super hero fanboy. Ian had declared that for it to be a true super hero party they all had to dress up or at least put on a t-shirt with a character on it. Svetlana had chosen Wonder Woman, while Ian and Mickey picked shirts with Rocket and Groot on them, which she thought was a perfect fit for them. 

With only an hour left before Yev's party officially starts she should have known that Fiona and Debbie, plus Liam, would be the first people to show up to help. They may not be her biggest fans but she knew if there was ever something she needed help in she could count on the Gallagher sisters. With the direction of Ian they set out making the living room as festive as possible. If Svetlana is honest it kind of looks like Marvel and DC threw up in her living room and then added different colored balloons and streamers to cover it up, but Yev and Ian thought it was the best thing they had ever seen so she just smiled and agreed.   

"Times like this I miss Sheila. She would have made amazing food and I wouldn't be here stuck cutting sandwiches into triangles." Debbie complains as she adds more sandwiches to an already full platter. 

"No, Sheila made weird food that was from gourmet cookbooks. This is for a four years old's party Debs, sandwiches are perfect." Ian tells her as he arranges fruit on a separate plate. 

"Pizza would have been good too." Mandy chimes in as she unwraps decorative plates and cups. 

"Were you gonna pay for all the fucken pizza I would have had to order to feed all you fuckers? You should be glad I'm feeding you people at all." Mickey says as he passes by taking grapes off a plate. 

"Your only kid only turns four once you cheap bastard. And where the hell is Svet?"   

Svet was laying on the couch trying not to die.   

With the excitement of the day, the nervousness of having other people besides her usual crowd in her house and the pressure of finally telling everyone about their news her morning sickness was becoming an all day thing. She had tried her breathing techniques but that only helped so much. She tried ginger ale and crackers, but that just made her hungry for normal food that she would've eventually thrown up too. So, she just took to laying on the couch trying not to make any sudden movements. She knew her time laying here was up when people started searching for her. She raises a hand over the couch and yells out her location.   

"Get your lazy ass up. Why are we over here doing all the work and you're taking a damn nap." Mandy says as she walks over to the couch and leans over the edge to see Svetlana's face.   

"I cleaned this filthy house early this morning to get ready for party." Svetlana tells her defensively.   

"This house hasn't been filthy in years so I'm sure all you did was sweep and pick up Mick's beer cans."   

That was all she had basically done but that was beside the point. 

Before she can get up and attempt to help with last minute preparations, Yev is running down the stairs yelling that he can see Amy and Gemma walking down the street. If Declan was Yev's school best friend, Amy and Gemma were Yev's neighborhood best friends. Those three together were either going to be Chicago's down fall or would eventually just take over the world together. From escaping play pins, to getting extra snacks, to attempting to walk to The Alibi by themselves, they were the perfect con system. Gemma- the brain, Yevgeny- the brawn and Amy-the cute distraction. She feared the day they were old enough to decide to pull off a big scheme that would probably get them throw in jail. At least they would only have to pay bail for one kid.   

Next followed Carl, Bonnie and baby Carly It was to no surprise that out of the Gallagher siblings Carl was the one to be a teenage parent. Svetlana had missed the first time Bonnie had been around but from what she had heard those two were a force to be reckoned with and once Bonnie was back Carl did everything in his power to keep her. It amazed her how well Carl had taken to being a parent, but then she figured with a parent like Fiona how was he not supposed to be a good parent. Carl could be seen doing his daily work runs with Carly in her kangaroo pouch strapped to him and even though numerous people had told him that it was dangerous and stupid his excuse was that he was spending quality time with his kid, which was a lot better then other teenage boys did. 

Hugging Carl and kissing Carly on her cheek as she dangles from her usual place strapped to her daddy, Ian asks, "Why does Carly have two bibs on?" 

"She's teething, so if we put two bibs on her and angle them so they cover the whole front of her shirt we don't have to change her as much." Bonnie answers as she hands Svetlana Yev's gift. 

"You should see the amount of slobber coming out of her, it's fucken ridiculous. Her shirt gets all soaked, then she gets this weird rash and then I have to listen to Bonnie and Fi bitching so we do this now. Even if she looks like she should be one of those special needs babies that have to wear a helmet." 

"Someone should have put you in a helmet when you were a baby!" Debbie calls out from the kitchen.   

Soon after, a procession of small children dressed in their own favorite super hero gear and tired looking parents follow. Their afternoon is hectic, crazy, loud and overwhelming but the big smile on Yev's face through it all makes it all worth it. Between Ian corralling all the kids to play musical chairs and pin the mask on Batman, a game Mickey had made up a few hours prior, the kids were having a grand time. Svetlana made sure kids, plus their parents, had enough food and drinks and Mick making sure his and Ian's siblings weren't scaring away the parents from Yev's school friends, their system was almost perfect.   

Until it wasn't   

~~~~  
"Rydstrom, which is stupid difficult name for child" said Yevgeny's mother "Can't have gluten, so he can't eat sandwich. We are starving Yev's friend!" she says in a panic to Ian.

Ian rolls his eyes at her over dramatics "Cut up ham and cheese for him and add extra chips on his plate Svet."   

She knew she kept Ian around for a reason.  

~~~~  
"Who's bright idea was it to invite snobs to the south side? The kid with the funny Dumbo ear's dad wants either hard cider or a cocktail. What the fuck! His choices were beer or fruit punch." Mickey yells at Svetlana like it's her fault they aren't a bar.  

"Mix fruit punch with vodka and add pieces of fruit and there, you have cocktail." 

After a few seconds of thinking it over he answers "That's not a bad idea." 

While Mickey is pouring out vodka in different cups he asks her with a laugh, "Have you seen Yev's face through this whole damn thing? The kid's face has to hurt by now with all that damn smiling." 

"It makes having to deal with difficult peoples easier knowing he's happy and having good time, yes?"   

~~~~  
"Man, you should have heard him crying like a little bitch. It was a damn flesh wound and he was yelling and asking for us to call 911, Mickey got shot in the leg once and he was fine." Svetlana hears Iggy telling someone, before she can get to him and tell him to shut up she hears Kevin answer him. 

"I still can't believe you shot Mandy's boyfriend." 

"I didn't mean to shoot him, we were just trying to scare him, you know. We didn't want another Kenyatta on our hands. But my aim was off and the bullet grazed his thigh." Iggy says unapologetically. 

She looks around hoping no one is listening to Iggy's story but from the big eyes and scared expressions on the faces around her she knows everyone is listening to him. In attempt to take everyone's attention from Iggy she yells out it's time for cake! As she and Ian and ten small children start their own awful rendition of 'Happy birthday' she sees Mickey smack Iggy across the back of his head. With cake being passed out Svetlana and Ian help Yev open all his gifts so they can speed the party up. 

Two hours of squealing giggling children has been more then enough time spent with all their guests.   

Yev gets more Legos, toys, books and clothes he could ever possibly need in his life and each gift is declared aloud his favorite before he rips into the wrapping paper of the next waiting present. When Svetlana hands Yev a gift wrapped in newspaper and a scribbled 'from Uncle Iggy' she's slightly afraid for him to open it, as Iggy's gift are known to be unconventional. She's only mildly surprised when Yev proudly lifts up nunchucks to show everyone. 

The loud smack that follows is no less surprising. Rubbing the back of his head Iggy switches his glare from Mickey to Carl when he says "What? I have to make sure I'm always the favorite uncle." Carl, who's gift had been water guns almost as big as Yev's short frame, just flips him off. With the last gift opened and thanks to everyone who came are said, Yev's friends and parents start making their farewells. Which, Mickey makes a point to say, is about damn time.   

"Do you know what I just realized." Mandy says as she walks around collecting half empty plates and cups from what was their the living room, but now resembles more a war zone.   

"That birthday parties are stupid idea." Svetlana answers as she wipes up what she hopes is chocolate off the floor. 

"No. Yev has more friends then the rest of the adults here combined do." 

"Bullshit, I have friends." Mickey calls out from the kitchen where he, the Gallaghers plus the Balls are lounging around eating the leftover party food. 

"Name one friend, Mick." Ian chimes in. 

"Carl." he answers with a raised eyebrow, almost as if to dare someone say Carl isn't his friend. 

"Hell yeah, I'm Mickey's best friend." Carl says proudly around a mouthful of cake. 

"Calm you tits, Pablo Escobar, I wouldn't say we're best friends." 

"Carl doesn't count. He's family, because he's basically your brother in law. Plus, we all know who your best friend is." Mandy says smugly making her way over to her brother 

"Me!" four voices call out.   

Svetlana hadn't even realized she had answered until she heard the other three voice answer with her. As Veronica and Fiona laugh at the shocked expressions on multiple faces she takes in what other fools were sadly mistaken of their place in Mickey's life. She understood Ian thinking he was Mickey's best friend since they were each others significant other, but she was his wife! Mandy thought as his sister the best friend title was just a given, which Svetlana guessed could be a possibility. But Kevin thinking he, of all the people in world, was Mickey's best friend was confusing and slightly funny too. 

"Why would you think you're his best friend?" Veronica asks her husband.

Listing off his reasons with his fingers Kev answers "Umm, maybe because we were business partners once. Our kids have play dates together. We invite each other over for dinner sometimes and he willingly hangs out at The Alibi to sit and talk to me." 

"I'm his damn sister, nothing trumps the sister card." 

"I have card! I am wife." Svetlana yells out from her perch on the back of the couch. 

"I'm the person who makes him cum every night. My card will always trump you bitches." Ian says triumphly wrapping his arms around Mickey. 

"I never thought I'd hear people fighting over being Mickey 'fuck u-up' Milkovich's best friend but I guess there are stranger conversations to walk in on." Lip says as he closes the door behind him. She notices the look Mickey and Ian shares when they see that Lip has finally showed up to Yev's party three hours late.

****

"Now that everyone else has left and it's just you people here eating us out of house and home, we have an announcement to make!" Ian yells, as he stands near the pillar dividing the living and dining room, over the crowd of stragglers still in their home. It's the usual suspects, the Gallaghers, Milkovich's and Ball's still here hours after all of Yev's friend's have long gone. This was the crowd that had become Svetlana's circle, for lack of a better word, she knew that the next sentence uttered from Ian would either be met with half assed congratulations or true heartfelt felicitations. She was hoping for the latter. Mickey nudges her closer to Ian as he's trying to shush the people around them so they can hear their news. 

"Svetlana is pregnant again!" Ian yells as he waves his hand over her still flat belly, like he's Vanna White. 

"Svet's always pregnant." Mandy calls from the floor where she's changing her son's diaper. 

"True, but this time it's my baby."   

It's scary how quiet they are. These are the people who always, always have something to say. In the few years she's known all of them they've never been quiet. Loud and boisterous to the point of obnoxious, yes. Quiet, no. It's almost funny. She's tempted to take a picture of the wide eyes and open mouths they have going on but she knows if she moves the spell will be broken and that's when the yelling will start. Finally Carl, beautiful Carl who she'll never admit aloud but has always been her favorite Gallaher besides Ian, breaks the awkward silence. 

"Mickey, you let Ian fuck your wife?" 

Maybe she should be more like Mick and choose Debbie as the favorite because Carl's big mouth wasn't helping. 

"I let Ian fuck my husband. We are sharing family." She says offhandely. 

The glare Ian gives her makes her realize that maybe she should stay quiet for this too. With less confidence and excitement he says "We decided that we were ready for another kid and this time it would be my baby." 

"Sooo, then, Mickey did let you fuck his wife?" Carl questions again. 

"Dammit Carl, yes! I let Ian fuck Svetlana!" Mickey confesses waving his hands around sloshing beer everywhere. 

Still, the quiet continues. It's not as funny anymore and from the looks Ian's giving her he's not too sure how to proceed with this. She had voiced her opinion that maybe they should tell people individually or just wait until the baby was born and they could see for themselves that it was Ian's. But, of course, she was ignored. Lip stands and she knows that what ever this pretentious bastard is about to say is not going to be nice or congratulatory in any way. 

"So let me get this straight. You idiots thought it would be a good idea for a bipolar kid who's finally getting his shit together to knock up the Russian whore..." 

"Watch your fucken mouth Phillip." Mickey calls out as he goes to stand in front of her. 

".....who just happens to be married to the man said bipolar kid is playing house with? Because that's what it sounds like you're telling us." 

Pushing both Mickey and Svetlana behind him Ian walks closer to his brother and with each few word spoken pokes at Lips chest. "First off, Fuck you. Second don't ever call Svet a whore again, because you don't exactly date Saints. At least she was getting paid for it. And third I'm not a kid, I'm almost 22, which yeah is young but we've never been kids, we didn't get that fucken luxury with Frank and Monica as parents." 

"Exactly! So why would you want to bring a kid into almost the exact same shitty situation we were raised in?" Lip yells back at Ian with a few chest pokes of his own. 

Getting even closer and towering over Lip Ian practically growls at  him "This is nothing like the way we were brought in to the world. We were all results of drunken nights. Me, Svet and even Mickey really want this baby." 

"That doesn't make it any better! This is still a fucken stupid idea and it's just gonna be another Gallagher kid who has to suffer in the world because it was born to fucked up parents! I thought the meds were helping but I see you're still doing stupid reckless shit! But now you're including other people who are too stupid to tell you no!" 

Fiona stands and puts her hand on Lips shoulder pulling him back a bit, once he's behind her she caress Ian's face and quietly asks "Are you sure this was a good idea. Babies are hard work and with everything going on with you maybe it wasn't really the best time for this?" 

"I know what I'm doing Fi, I thought it over, it wasn't a haste decision." Ian answers her just as quietly. 

"Well, then, congratulations." She tells him with a smile that doesn't match the hesitation in her eyes. 

"Yeah, congratulations!" Debbie calls out and stands to give her brother a hug. A few more well wishes are tossed their way but it doesn't help ease the tension in the room. 

Svetlana notices that both Iggy and Mandy are quietly both watching their own brother who hasn't moved from his place in front of her. She doesn't know why the protective stance he has in front of her makes her feel all warm and tingly but it does. When Ian starts to make his way back to them smiling, almost as if the storm has passed, Lip starts at it again. 

"No, fuck no. This kid is a mistake. We aren't going to pretend that this is a happy joyous occasion. Our brother, who is heavily medicated most days, just told us he knocked up the girl he called a commie skank at her wedding to a gay thug! How don't you people see this isn't going to end well!"   

Before she Svetlana can talk herself out of it she shoves her way in front of both her boys and is pushing Lip. "I had no right before to say shit when you would come in to my home and argue with your brother. You feel as older brother you can come in here and tell Ian what he must do just because you say so. I just listened before, and then called you names with Mickey once you left, but that ends now. I have right to tell you to go fuck yourself because I am mother of your brother's child. So we do not need your permission for this! It is done! We, bipolar orange boy and Russian whore, are having a baby. And if you ever call my child a mistake again I will chop off your balls with bare hands and then you will not ever get chance to have own child that we get to call mistake! Am I understood? " 

Once she's done threatening him she notices where she has him. She hadn't meant to push him against the wall and hadn't really noticed she had until he had no where else to go. But she was angry. People could call her every name they could think of, because they were most likely true about her. They could even be rude and hateful to Ian and Mickey, because they could defend themselves. However, when it came down to Yev and now this baby growing in her no one would ever hurt them or call them names unless they wanted to lose an appendage. 

"You're just as crazy as those two idiots. You three are fucken perfect each other!" Lip yells as he goes to push her away. 

His hands are just barely pressed against her when she feels Mickey behind her as he gravely tells Lip "Push her and you die." 

Fiona, always the peace keeper, gently puts herself in between them and pushes Lip out of the way as she tells him it's probably best if he left. 

"I wouldn't spend another minute in the Milkovich house of horrors if you fucken paid me." he yells as he stomps to the front door and then slams the door for good measure. 

"I don't know what the big fucken deal is? I personally am excited that the world gets another Milkovich in it." Iggy states as he lights a cigarette ignoring the scoffing sounds that are made by the Gallaghers around him.

"Hell no, we get this one! It's a Gallagher." Carl argues with him. 

While those two dummies argue over who gets to claim the baby, Svetlana makes her way to Ian and wraps her self around him. Though he's stiff for the first few seconds, she just squeezes harder until he relaxes and hugs her back. It could have gone worse, she thinks. No one was injured and the yelling must have not been too bad if Yev and the Ball girls didn't come out from his room upstairs. All in all, it was probably the best they could have hoped for. 

"OH MY GOD!" Mandy, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for the whole debacle, yells. "That's what I walked into that day I kept Yev for the afternoon! You people are so fucken weird." 

While Mandy recounts what she had seen that day to anyone who will listen, Ian gives her one last squeeze and a whispered thanks. She just shrugs at him, there was no need to thank her. 

Yet, she in turn goes to Mickey to give him her own thanks for protecting her. He waves her away and tells her he'd use any excuse to hurt Lip, which she knows to be true but still she appreciates his concern for her well being. 

Later that night as she makes her way back up the stairs, after checking to make sure all the doors are locked and everything is turned off, she runs into Mickey and Ian. Where they're coming from checking on Yev one last time before going to bed themselves like they do most nights. As she bids them good night, she realizes that Lip was right about one thing. 

They were perfect for each other. 

It was probably in an abnormal dysfunctional way but perfect none the less.


	6. Interlude- Mickey & Ian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at boy on boy smut, and it took a lot longer than I thought it would take to write. First, it sounded too pornish, like I could hear the bad instrumental music in the background. Then, it was too graphic and weird, like cocks flapping in the wind weird. Finally, I wrote one that was a less graphic and more loving, I hope it sounds right to you three people actually reading this.

It starts off slowly, just the soft flick of a tongue against his ear. Mickey hasn't even really registered what's going on before the flicks turn into gentle nibbles. He buries his face deeper into the pillow and groans when he feels the wet swipe of Ian's tongue work its way down his back. Leaving behind not only the wetness of his tongue but the moisture of his freshly showered body, Ian continues his passage down Mickey's body. When his tongue reaches the top of Mickey's boxers he lowers them just enough so the cleft of Mickey's ass is visible and kisses the top of each cheek. He waits for the boxers to be lowered more or at least for there to be more ass kissing but nothing comes. With a noise of disappointment Mickey crawls up to the headboard and sits against it. Ian, still on his knees at the edge of the bed, seems to be lost in his own world staring at the wall behind Mick. 

"Yo, tough guy, you alright there?" Mickey questions as he throws Ian a pillow.

"Yeah." he answers as he tosses the pillow back, as an afterthought he says "Nikolai." It's more of a question than a statement and it leaves Mick slightly confused.

"Uh, no bitch, it's Mickey."

The laugher that follows has Mickey a bit pissed off, he wonders how Ian would feel if he went around calling him other random guy’s names. Knowing Ian, he would probably pull a Svetlana and threaten to do them bodily harm. He always thought he was the only borderline psycho, quick to hurt someone. Yet, it turns out those two, with their claw hammer and throat punches, were just as bad if not worse. He can feel his eyebrows getting higher as he continues to sit looking at Ian who is still chuckling to himself. With an eye roll he asks him if he's done with his damn cackling. 

"Mick, I know your damn name. It's my favorite word to moan when I cum." the cheeky bastard says with a wink. "I was just thinking about baby names. I think it'll be a good idea if we stick with Russian first names that way Yev won't feel like the oddball."

"So instead we'll have two oddballs with names people can't pronounce?"

"Nikolai isn't hard to say, plus we could call him Nicky. So I'll have a Mickey and a Nicky." Ian says as he scoots closer to sit next to Mickey.

"You're such a fucken sap."

"True, but that's why you love me."

"Ooh, is that why? I just figured you knew I kept you around for the monster you have under your towel." Mickey says waving his hand over Ian's covered cock.

"Who would have ever thought you, Mickey Milkovich, were a size queen."

"Wasn't 'till I met you." Mickey answer with a smirk.

A few minutes pass in comfortable silence before Ian stretches his body out and pulls Mick down with him, long legs and strong arms are soon wrapped around him cocooning Mick into Ian's heat. It's not exactly cuddling, because Mickey doesn't do domestic shit like cuddling and talking baby names late at night, it's just something they do to keep warm. With a big dreary house like this one it's never quite warm enough so body heat is the best solution. At least that's what Mick tells himself.

"Do you think Lip was right?"

And there it was.

Mickey had been waiting for it since the stupid beak like bastard left their house. Did he think Lip was right? Yes. Maybe. Fuck, he wasn't sure. What he did know was that he had decided years ago to never agree with fucken Philip, it went against all that was right in the world. Of course Mickey worried about the pressure and stress it would cause Ian with bringing a baby into their home.

Mickey always worried.

He was always afraid something would set Ian off and he'd relapse into the crazy ass bat wielding paranoid fuck he had been years ago. Mickey also knew lying to Ian wouldn't help any either. "Come on man, you know I don't ever think Lip is right about anything. But what I do think is that you and Svet get these crazy ass ideas without really thinking shit through. And I'm the one who has to deal with the aftermath."

"If you're talking about the stupid hamster I said I was sorry!"

Stupid fucken hamster. 

Mickey told them to not even go into the damn pet store because they were not pet people, but as usual he was ignored. An hour and almost a hundred dollars later Yev was the proud owner of Loki the hamster. With a ball to roam the house in and a cage that was nicer than their home, Mick already hated the thing. Until he saw how excited Yev was to show everyone his new pet, then he learned to tolerate it. Things had been great, Loki didn't make too much noise, he didn't make a mess all over the place and he didn't have to deal with it. That was until the excitement of a new thing in their house wore off and people forgot to feed it, or would leave it in its ball all the time and Mickey would trip over it in the middle of the night.

His first thought was to drown it since no one else took care of it but that sounded like something Terry would do and Mickey refused to the same kind of dad he had been raised by. So Mick, being the newly good parent he was, would clean the damn cage and feed Loki just so his kid would have a pet he could talk to when he was playing in his room. A few weeks went by with no problems until the day Yev wanted to take Loki with him to Gemma and Amy's but they couldn't find the damn thing.

They finally found him a week later when they followed the pungent smell of decaying flesh coming from behind a shelf. As luck would have it, who but Mickey had to deal with a traumatized Yev who cried for 2 hours straight because his best friend was dead. Then he had to be in charge of a hamster funeral since Svetlana had said her only involvement of the hamster’s demise would be holding the trash bag they tossed the damn thing into. With Ian conveniently having online homework with a deadline it left Yev and Mick to some good quality father-son bonding as they dug a grave for Loki. Mick even securely placed a small cross, which Yev had made for the damn rodent, in the grave. Sometimes Mick can just picture how bad of an ass beating his 17 year old self would give him if he ever saw the pansy ass bitch he had become.

"I never thought I'd be making a speech at hamster’s funerals and that was all your fault because you didn't listen when I told you no! Svet's the same damn way, she'll ask for my opinion just to go do the exact opposite of what I said. So when this kid is crying in the middle of the night I better not be woken up to deal with it because it sure as fuck wasn't my idea to have another baby." Mickey finishes with a flare as he turns away from Ian so he can finally get some sleep after their tiring day.

Somewhere between sleep and consciousness he hears the soft thumping of a new cigarette pack hitting against Ian's palm, the flick of a lighter is next and Mickey knows he won't be getting any sleep any time soon. He's not surprised when Ian starts his ramblings again. "How about Ivanna for a girl? It's almost a combination of Ian and Svetlana." followed by the crackling of burning paper from the cigarette and an exhale before Ian continues, "Vladimir is a cool name too."

Mickey tried to ignore him, he really did, because he knew if he just stayed quiet long enough Ian would eventually go to sleep. Yet, before he can stop himself he hears himself saying "Vladimir is a psychopath’s name don't fuck up the kid from the very beginning."

"I knew you weren't asleep." Ian says between smokey breaths "Hey, Mick, can I ask you a question?"

"Besides the dumb ass one you just asked?” Mickey asks as he shifts his body back around to face Ian.

Ian just scowls at him and keeps talking. "Why did you agree so fast to let me and Svet try for a baby? I was expecting a punch or two, maybe a broken beer bottle, something exciting. Your reaction was kind of a disappointment."

"I can punch you now if you want?"

"Maybe later. So what made you decide it was ok?"

There were a million things Mickey would rather be doing than having this conversation.

Swimming in shark infested waters. 

He could be hanging out with a swarm of killer bees.

Hell, he'd even call Lip and talk to him about his boring ass job then tell Ian why he was fine with the whole baby idea. How was he supposed to tell Ian that when he and Svetlana were trying to convince him it was a good idea he could picture Yev and a little red head holding hands and play outside together. That he could vision Ian dancing around the kitchen with a freckled face little boy who looked just like him, like he used to do when Yev was a baby. Mickey didn't do emotional sappy shit like that.

If he was honest, he had been pissed at the beginning of their whole bright idea though, he did want to punch Ian for agreeing with Svet. Ian was his. It was bad enough he already had to share Ian with Svetlana because they lived in the same house but letting them sleep together was pushing it too fucken far. He was also slightly offended that he hadn't been picked to father the second kid too. Mickey was damn proud of the kid he had helped make. Yevgeny was smart, cute, funny and a criminal mastermind in the making and those were all qualities that Mick had given him dammit! But as he stood there yelling at them, telling them they had lost their damn minds, he could see Ian's kid. And that's all it had really taken for him to say yes, because who wouldn't want a miniature version of the person they loved.

"Don't make a big fucken deal about what I'm gonna tell you ok? But I said yes because I could see you and your kid, same matching hair and freckles, you know? And I thought it wouldn't be so bad having a little version of you running around with Yev." Mickey says as he looks at anything but Ian. He clears his throat a few times and even resolves to fluff his perpetually flat pillow just to avoid the look he knows Ian is giving him.

A warm hand is suddenly turning his face and the hard press of Ian’s lips is soon on his. Ian moves his lips to brush lightly against his neck, his cheek and finally back to Mickey's lips where they belong. When the wet swipe of Ian's tongue meets Mickey's mouth he gladly opens up letting Ian invade his mouth. Their kiss is kept gentle, slow and undemanding unlike the usual kisses they share. Ian shifts his body to press further into Mickey's as they continue to explore each other's mouths. With one last swipe of his tongue and a gentle bite to his bottom lip Ian pulls away from Mickey. Just by the smile Ian is giving him, Mickey knows what's going to be said next is going to make him regret ever telling Ian anything. 

"So, what you're telling me is that you love me so much that you want a little version of me running around the house too?" Ian smirks as he settles himself between Mickey's legs pressing sloppy kisses to his chest. 

"Didn't I tell you to not make a big fucken deal out of it?" Mick argues with no real heat behind his words. 

"Mick, that's the most romantic thing you've ever told me in all our years knowing each other. What did you expect me to do, just say ok and move on?" 

"I say romantic shit all the time!" 

"Telling me how much you love my dick doesn't count as romance.” 

"Says who?"

"Did the kid look exactly like me? I need details of this vision you got." 

"Get the hell away from me. This is why I don't tell you shit."

"How about you tell me what you saw and I'll find other things to occupy myself with." Ian tells him as he trails more kisses down his body. The tug of his boxers being pulled off follow and even if Mickey had planned to tell Ian what he saw all train of thought leaves him when he feels the wet swipe of Ian's tongue on his cock. He's then engulfed in the warm wet heat of Ian's mouth and he knows he couldn't even put together a coherent sentence right now if he tried. With a suctioned pop Ian pulls off of him "Are you gonna tell me what you saw?"

"I'm not gonna tell you about our kids holding hands and playing together while my dick is in your mouth."

"They were holding hands?" Ian asks in such a squealish voice Mick wants to punch him.

"Get the fuck off me. I'll just take care of myself." Mickey says much to Ian's amusement.

"Fine. I'll shut up. Because I know I'll eventually get it out of you."

Mickey attacks Ian's mouth before the red head can start running it again. It's not soft like the earlier kiss, this is rough, all tongues and teeth clashing. Mickey's hands can't stop touching Ian's skin, alternating between rubbing and squeezing up and down his body. With Ian's towel long forgotten, Mickey wedges his hand between them to stroke Ian's growing erection. They continue kissing, gasping for breath every time their mouths part, they snatch the air the need before pressing together again. Mickey silently hopes there will never come a day he can't taste Ian in his mouth. It's too much and not enough Mickey thinks as he feels Ian, who had been nuzzled between his legs, shifting with frustration.

With sounds of discontent and desire caught in his throat Mickey tightens his legs around Ian. They finally break from their kiss as Ian pants into Micks neck, skin flushed and moist with sweat, mouth swollen and eyes half closed in dazed need, "I gotta get up and get the new bottle of lube"

"Just use spit. Hurry and get on me, you're taking too damn long." Mickey tells him, but Ian has already pulled away from him, he eyes Mickey hungrily before he turns to get off the bed.

Mickey will never be able to accurately or passionately describe what he feels at these precise moments. Because it's one thing for him to look onto Ian's toned beautiful body with its lines and crevices that Mickey could never get (no matter the amount of time he spent at the stupid gym) but another for Ian to look on to the scarred body of the older man and mirror the exact same need and want that Mickey has in his eyes. He sees the tapered hip bones, trails and shadows of coarse red hair and the steady beat of a pulse in the pale skin of Ian's throat. Then there's the hardened flesh between his long legs, purpling with its first drop of want for Mickey. And that's when Mickey decides he's so glad he lacked the self-control to stay away from Ian all those years ago. Because when it came to Ian, Mickey could never control himself. Even years ago, when this had been all new and forbidden, there was always something there pulling Mickey in. He used to think it was just because for those brief few minutes that Ian was deep within Mickey's body he could be himself, unafraid of who he was and what he was doing. Now, he knew the lack of self-control was just due to the love he had for him.

Once Ian is back from searching through their closet he falls onto Mick in a tangle of long limbs and hot skin. With a clash of lips, teeth and tongues their mouths meet again. The soft pop of the bottle cap being closed is the only warning Mickey gets before he feels Ian's greased finger breaching his entrance. With the gentle in and out glide forcing a moan from Mickey, Ian pulls back from their kiss to watch as he slowing adds another finger. Mickey whimpers, and looks at Ian who is fascinated with the motions his hand is making, watching the tight pink flesh that flirts with the length of his finger. Flickering open just enough around him, the muscles clenching, pulling and pushing alternately on his fingers. Ian's other hand touches Mickey leaking cock. Expertly stroking as he opens him up. Mickey feels himself give to the pressure, opening up and preparing for Ian's cock to enter his body.

"Come on. Stop with all the damn teasing and just get on me" Mickey pleads with him.

Ian does one more twist of his fingers that leaves Mick groaning, before he removes his hands. Now it's Mickey's turn to watch as Ian stokes himself. Long, languished strokes as he adds more lube, greasing his erection from tip to base as he smirks at a ready Mick. Losing any patience he had left Mickey sits up, pushes Ian down and climbs up over his long body. Positioning himself, he fists Ian's cock and guides it into his welcoming warmth. Slowly, Mickey moves up and down, adjusting to the fullness he feels. So full and hot and reduced to only the simplest of wants Mickey lets out a deep moan as he increases his pace. Ian lifts his hip to meet each of Mickey's thrust, almost painfully slow they set their rhythm. Ian lifts himself up, hands clinging to Mickey as he pulls him down, one hand gets tangled in the dark mop of Mickey's hair as he pulls him down to kiss him. 

They move faster now, rougher, meeting with each hard thrusts of their bodies. They match each other’s moans, grunts and whimpers as they continue their steady fast motions. Ian jerks his hips and Mickey can feel him twitch inside of him, rubbing at the place inside of him that feels like someone is reaching inside him and caressing every nerve in his body. Ian's hand slides between Mickey's shuddering stomach and his own muscled abdomen to stroke Mickey's erection that's been pressed between them. Mickey's pace picks up, losing its careful rhythm as he comes apart, knees digging sharply into the mattress beneath them. Ian lets out a groaned "fuck" as his hips surge up one last time while he empties himself within Mickey. Mickey cums over Ian's trembling fingers. 

He shudders and goes limp on top of him, sealing their shaking bodies together with sweat and his body's release. Ian's arms encircle Mickey's sweating back, holding him close as they both come down, placing soft kisses on the top of his head. A few seconds or minutes or days pass before Mickey hears Ian's low rumbling laugh. 

"Mick, I love you, but you gotta get off me before we glue ourselves together with your jizz." 

"Give me a damn minute, firecrotch. I'm the one who did all the damn work." 

"Fine. But just remember I told you to move when you're bitching about being all sticky." 

Mickey continues to lay on Ian, listening to the fast beating of his heart. He lays there long enough to hear as it slows down and his breathing goes back to normal. He finally, although reluctantly, pries himself off Ian. He figures he'll just re-shower in the morning instead of dealing with the sticky mess on him now. With an arm wrapped around Ian and their legs intertwined with each other, Mickey finally closes his eyes to get some sleep. 

"Viktor, but with a K, sounds good too." Ian says to an already snoring Mickey.


	7. Chapter 7

25 weeks.

25 long puked filled weeks.

That's how long Svetlana had been pregnant.

25 weeks for this child growing in her to become a stubborn mule just like its father. All she needed was for it to open its little legs so the sonogram technician lady could tell them if they were having boy or girl. 

She needed to know! She needed Ian to know, so he would stop calling her a billion Russian names a day.

The first time Ian had come in to her room and called her Anya she had merely scrunched up her nose and told him he must be confusing her with another Russian lady because she was Svetlana. Between laughter he answered "Why do you and Mick think I don't know your names? I was just giving you suggestions to what we should name our kid. I think we should just start calling out random names and see which one sounds good." 

So that's what they had done.

Ian would stand in a different room from her and would yell out names to see if they liked any of them. Mickey had said it was a stupid idea. So of course Svetlana decided it was the best idea Ian had ever had and would make sure to especially yell out names while Mick was around. Yev had even started to partake in the name yelling. Though, he didn't quite get what they were doing at first so he would mostly stand in his room yelling out, "Yevgeny!"   
Once they explained they were trying to find a name for the new baby he would then yell out names like Thor, Bruce or Clint, which were good names but not exactly what they were looking for. 

Earlier that morning, when the technician first noticed that their baby was curled into a ball and she wouldn't be able to see what was between their legs she had been kind enough to give them a few minutes in hopes the baby would move around. That had been an hour and two cups of orange juice ago. The nurse had also suggested that maybe the sugar from the juice would get the baby a bit more active so it would wiggle around to reveal what it was. All the juice had done was make Svetlana queasy and have to pee again.

So here she laid, with her shirt rolled up under her bra and her maternity pants pulled down under her growing belly that was out on display for the world to see.

"Listen here son, I don't know why you're being shy? We're not a shy family. About a fourth of the South side has seen more of your mother than they needed to and I was a dancer who wore shorts two sizes too small. Just wiggle around and open your legs!" Ian says as he's draped over her belly talking to the baby.

"I am telling you it is a girl! And she is going to be a good girl who keeps her legs closed." Svetlana tells him shooing him away from her.

"I'm getting a son. Mickey already saw it."

When Mickey had become a sightseer she isn't sure but as of lately both idiots were positive it was boy she was carrying. Which she could be, since there are only two options in the case of having babies, but she's pretty certain it was a girl. She's dreamt her mother more these past few weeks than she has in all the time she's been in America. So, if Mickey is getting visions of a boy she's going to take her dreams to mean she's having a girl.

Ian shifts in the chair next to her sighing and making all kinds of useless noise as they continue to wait for their child to move. She's sure the next time the nurse comes in she's going to tell them that their time is up and they need to leave since their stubborn child won't move. Svetlana's ready to leave too since it's been at least three hours since the last time she ate. As she's listening to her stomach growling she wonders if maybe food will help the baby move. Before she can even remember what she has stashed in her purse she's already asked Ian to hand her a snack from it.

"What the fuck Svet? I thought we had talked about this? You can't eat so much junk food, it's not good for my kid!" he yells at her as he pulls out bags of chips, individual packs of Oreos and an assortment of candy she's been hoarding in her purse. "Where did you get all this from anyway? I'm the one who goes grocery shopping."   
Svetlana's not sure if she wants to tell Ian exactly where she's been getting her extra food from because he'll probably be even more upset when he finds out it's been his own family sneaking her food behind his back.

Never let it be said that the Gallaghers weren't good people. Suffering through the upbringing they had, they could have been awful selfish people. People whose only concern had been their own well-being.

Luckily for Svetlana, they weren't.

All it had taken was one afternoon of them watching Ian knock a Coke out of her hand to replace it with water, pressing napkins on her pizza to soak up all the extra grease and then not letting her have more than two cookies for them to start 'The feed Svetlana program'. It had also probably helped that Svetlana had damn near cried when her caffeine fix had been taken from her. Plus the actual tears she had cried when Ian had limited her cookie intake  
.   
Ian had said something about not ingesting too much sugar because it was bad for the baby. She thinks. But Svetlana could be wrong about that. She wasn't exactly sure what Ian had been saying since she was sitting on top of him smothering him into their couch after he had taken the half bitten cookie away from her. Mickey, the smug bastard who was stuffing his face with her precious cookies, just looked on and laughed now that he was used to Ian and Svetlana's daily squabbles over what she could and couldn't eat. 

Their food program started with Fiona subtly handing her a handful of Oreos as she and Liam left later that day. Then she would secretly drop off diner food a few days a week before Ian would get home. Those nights were her favorite. There was nothing more satisfying than watching Mickey suffer through dinner, which Ian had prepared, that contained more vegetables than any one person should ever consume in one sitting. She and Yev, with their full happy bellies, would share secret smiles as they pushed their food around and only ate enough bites to appease Ian.

Then, it had been Debbie sneaking her hot dogs on her lunch break. She would at least rinse them before she ate her weight in processed meats and mustard. Carl and Bonnie would bring her random concoctions, like Doritos and apple sauce (which was actually pretty good) or chocolate covered carrots (that wasn't so great) anytime they came to visit. This had been a lot more often in the past month. It's not that the Gallaghers wouldn't come over it was just more common for Ian to go to them. Yet now that Svetlana was carrying their niece or nephew they felt the need to be over there a lot.

Mickey would scowl at her anytime Ian's family would come barging into their home unannounced and not bothering to even knock. It wasn't her fault they were trying to be involved and had now decide Svetlana was the most interesting person they knew. If anything, being the center of attention was never really Svetlana's thing. She was perfectly fine with being an onlooker in the background. She figured sometimes it was even easier, better, to not be noticed. With the family she now starting to claim as her own she had gladly accepted her place as a background piece no one paid much attention to. Until now that they were feeding her.

She was almost sure that their new operation had been discovered a few days ago when Ian had come home from work to a living room full of Gallaghers and had asked why it smelled like a bakery had exploded in their house as he sniffed the air around him. It kind of amazed her how fast Fiona had lied saying it was probably her new lotion and had even waved her hand around Ian's face to prove the lotion's smell as Carl pushed the box of freshly baked pastries back into Carly's diaper bag. All while Debbie quickly wiped crumbs from Yev and Liam's faces.

"Would you believe me if I told you they weren't mine?" Svetlana ask as she tries her hardest to make her face as innocent looking as possible. She's knows she's not doing a very good job when Ian rolls his eyes at her. "Fine! Carl and Bonnie stole all the snacks for me."

She almost feels bad for throwing them under the bus like she did but she knows Ian won't be too mad at them. He'd probably be more upset that her ride to her appointment had been a license-less Bonnie who was driving a stolen car. But she wasn't dumb enough to share that info with Ian.

"I should have known Bonnie and Clyde were to blame." Ian says as he offers her a cookie.

They're enjoying their snacks with only the noise of their crunching between them when the sonogram technician comes back in. She tells them what Svetlana already knew, this would be their last chance today to see what the baby was before she had to let someone else use the room. Once the cold gel is applied to Svetlana's belly again she waits for the sound of her baby's heartbeat. It's a bit faster now and no less strong. She's slightly embarrassed that her nose still stings and her eyes water up when she's already heard her baby's heartbeat multiple times today. As the technician rubs the transducer over her belly searching for the baby's sex, Svetlana watches the screen. It's all a hazy blur but Svetlana can almost make out the small arms and feet, but she's not a hundred percent sure that's really what she's seeing. Ian has the same glazed expression she has as he squints his eyes watching what appears to be their baby finally shifting around.

With a grin Ian tells her, "Look, he's moving! He's already listening to me!"

"She probably got tired of you interrupting her sleep and calling her son!"

"And there it is!" calls the technician, smiling at Svetlana.

"No, wait! Don't tell us! Can you just put it in an envelope? We want Yev and Mick around when we find out."

The technician, who was probably tired of them, graciously complies. With the envelope containing the sex of her baby tucked safely in her bag, Svetlana wipes her belly clean and arranges her clothes back. She's tempted to keep the information to herself and just wait until the baby is born to see what it is but she knows between Ian and Yev they'll drive her crazy asking.

Yev desperately wants a brother to play with. He also says he needs a brother so when he's older he can have someone to share beers and yell at the TV with like his papa and Uncle Iggy do. Or, have someone to boss around like Carl does with Liam.

"I've decided that we should make a deal," Ian, who is so sure he's going to have a son, tells Svetlana as they walk to catch the L. "I get to pick our sons first name and you can pick his middle name. If it's a girl you pick her first name and I choose the middle, ok?" he smirks at her like he's just thought of the greatest plan of all time.   
With a shrug Svetlana agrees. 

"What are we naming our son then?" she questions. 

******

"DMITRI!" Mickey yells as he paces the small confines of their living room, "Yevgeny and Dmitri! Our poor kids are gonna get their asses kicked on the regular with shitty names like that. I thought you had decided on Luka?"

"That was last week's name." Ian answers him offhandedly

"I don't know why you're naming a boy, when it clearly is a girl." Carl says walking in with Carly attached to him and Bonnie right behind him. Carl continues through the house like it's his own, grabs a beer, hands one to Bonnie and grabs a handful of stale pretzels before sitting down on the couch next to Ian. It's then when he finally notices the bemused looks on Ian and Svetlana's face and the dangerously high eyebrows on Mickey's face. "What?!" he ask with honest confusion.

"Don't you have your own damn home?" Ian asks first as he goes to reach for Carly.

Mickey snatches the beer from Carl's hand and drinks from it before asking "And how do you know it's a girl?"

"Because, Svetlana's ass has gotten bigger! When Mandy was pregnant with Max all she got was a big basketball belly. Bonnie's ass and tits grew before her stomach did when she was knocked up and we had a girl." Carl says before dodging the baby rattle Bonnie throws at him.

"What are you doing looking at Svetlana's ass?" Bonnie asks with another toy in hand ready to throw at him.

Mickey and Ian laugh as they look to Carl and wait for him to dig himself out of the grave he's obviously just put himself in. Svetlana looks over at the blonde teenager to see if she's really upset but she sees the smirk she shoots at her before her face goes back to a hard glare at Carl. While Carl thinks of different excuses as to why he would notice Svetlana's ass getting bigger she realizes that Carl is right. Her ass has gotten bigger and she's pretty sure she's gotten wider in the last few weeks too.

"Can we just open up the damn envelope already. I have better shit to do." Mickey says.

"Mick, if it was up to you, what would you name the kid?" Bonnie asks, still glaring at Carl.

Svetlana never even thought to ask Mick for his opinion. With Yev, he was being a difficult asshole that she didn't even bother to ask what he wanted to name his kid. Knowing Mickey, he'd probably want to name his kid after famous drug lords or a mass murder.

"You know, I've never really asked you what you would choose if it was up to you," Ian says looking to Mick.

"I don't know. But I sure as hell wouldn't choose Yevgeny or Dmitri."

"You don't like my name, papa?" Yev says finally looking away from the TV that had been entertaining him.

"Yeah, Mick? You do not like your son's name?" Svetlana asks.

The look Mickey gives her is murderous but she's seen it enough to ignore it. "Jesus, you're a pain in my ass." he directs to her then looks over to Yev. "I didn't like your name until I met you, then it became my favorite name because you're my favorite, kid."

Yev just laughs in answer and turns back to the TV.

"Had you not been such a bitch, and asked for opinion, Yev probably would have been named Charlie."

"After Charles Manson?" Ian asks with wide eyes.

At least she wasn't the only one who thought Mickey would name is kid after criminals.

"What the fuck? No, you dumb ass, like Charlie Brown." Mickey says looking slightly embarrassed that he would name his kid after a bald pessimistic cartoon.

Yev, eyes still glued to his shows calls out, "I really like Lucy, she's my kind of girl."

Chuckling to himself over his Milkovich boys' love for Peanuts characters, Ian searches through Svetlana’s purse for the sonogram pictures of their child. "Come on let's just open this up to see what's growing in you." Ian says as he slowly peels open the envelope. "Maybe a drum roll or something would make this a little more exciting."

Carl proceeds to make weird gurgling noises, which sound more like a dying helicopter than drums. There's also more spit coming out of him then there is from a slobbering Carly. Yev mimics the noise which only encourages Carl to keep doing it. By now he's added hand motions that she can only assume is his own version of what a drummer looks like. Poor thing looks like he's about to hurt himself.

Looking slightly concerned for his brother, Ian thanks Carl for his drum solo but begs him to stop.

"That had to be the worse drum roll I've ever seen in all my life. I'm embarrassed for you Carl.” Mickey says as Bonnie nods with agreement.

Carl, offended by everyone's lack of appreciation for his performance, grabs the envelope from Ian. Before anyone can stop him he's opened it and taken the pictures out, after a quick scan he smiles, "I told you bitches it was a girl! Now I'm taking my own daughter and getting the hell out of here since no one appreciated my damn drum rolls."

"A GIRL?!" Svetlana yells, ignoring Carl's dramatic departure. "I am getting a daughter! I knew it!"

She picks Yevgeny up and twirls him around with excitement. She had known it was a girl growing within her, she could feel it from the moment she first knew she was pregnant.

She and Yev are still dancing around laughing when it finally dawns on Ian that he's getting a daughter.

"Holy shit! We're having a girl!" he says before moving to join in her and Yev's excitement.

"I'm getting a sister!" Yev squeals as he's passed to a smiling Ian, "That means I don't have to share my toys!"

Standing to hug Svetlana, Bonnie says "Congratulations! Daughters are fun, you can dress them up cute and get a ton of bows and shit. But I gotta go before Carl and Carly get too far." She's almost out the door before turning to add "By the way, Bonnie is a really good name for a girl!"

Mickey, always the killjoy, interrupts their celebration as he shoves Ian in route to throw himself on the couch. Not bothering to hide his disappointment he declares "I thought it was a boy! What the hell are we gonna do with a girl? She's gonna be all whiny and frilly, like Amy and Gemma."

Ignoring Mickey's protests, Svetlana shoves his feet off the couch to sit down, "Not all girls are like that. I'm sure Mandy was not a whiny child?"

Mickey scoffs, "Yes she was! The bitch still whines about shit."

"Well with you as second father you will help our daughter to not be whiny pain in the ass."

" Yeah, Mick," Ian says sitting on the edge of the couch, "You can teach her to be a badass who gets away with petty crimes. I'll pass on to her all the good Gallagher qualities like caring, sharing and conning. Svet, you can teach her..... Umm..... Well, you can teach her-"

"How to get her way by threatening people with house hold appliances!" Mickey adds.

"Yes! See, she's going to be a total bad ass that cares about people. We're gonna have the perfect kid." Ian says smiling to himself.

Svetlana laughs and agrees with Ian, but to herself she wonders if that's all she'll really be able to teach her daughter. She's not exactly a good person, she doesn't donate to save the turtles, or other random animal on the verge of extinction. She doesn't have any form of American education, hell she can barely read and write in English. Had it not been for the years of watching bad day time television she wouldn't be able to speak the language either. You don't exactly need to talk when you have your mouth full.   
Which brings her to her next problem; she can't exactly teach her daughter the one thing she’s really good at. Who would want teach their daughter that the one thing they excel at includes penises, spit and jerky hand motions!

Shit, she should have been with Mickey and hoped for a boy instead. Because no one blames the mother when a boy because the neighborhood skank and right now that was Svetlana’s new fear for her daughter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, to the 3 people reading this, that it took so long to update! Also, I swore there was an upstairs in the Milkovich house but as I recently re-watched the last seasons I realized I was wrong. But, the layout of their home does change from season to season so I'm gonna go ahead and leave the steps and upstairs rooms. Anywho, thanks for reading!!

She doesn't mean to eavesdrop. Really, she doesn't.  
Svetlana was minding her own business on the way to her favorite room in the house, the kitchen, for a midnight snack when she heard the moaning. Sure, she could have kept on walking and ignored the sounds coming from Ian and Mickey's room but where was the fun in that. So she crept up slowly to the door as the moaning continued with a few added grunts in between. Feeling like a complete perv she silently hoped the door wasn't closed so she could see what exactly was going on in there.

Unfortunately, luck had never been on her side so of course the door was shut completely. Now she would just have to imagine what was going on. This wasn’t exactly all that hard since she had walked in on Ian being balls deep into Mickey more times than she ever needed to see. She could easily picture Mickey on his hands and knees, face flushed with sweat, mouth slightly open and head thrown back in ecstasy as Ian held on tight to his hips, probably leaving small fingerprint shaped bruises as he thrusts in and out of Mick.  
She hears the sharp slap of flesh meeting flesh as she continues to imagine that Ian lowers one hand from Mickey's hip to his cock. The grunts and moans Ian and Mickey are making match what she's visioning. She can picture Mickey moving to meet each of Ian's hard thrusts when she hears the bed squeaking more as the sounds of their bodies connecting become louder and more frantic.

Svetlana presses herself closer to the door as she thinks maybe the battery operated boyfriend she has tucked away in her dresser drawer will be more satisfying than the food she was about to indulge in. A sound that's a mix of a growl and a grunt cuts in to her thoughts followed by Mickey moaning out "Shit, right there!"

"Yeah, you like that don't you!?" Ian responds.

She can't help but snort with laughter at the terrible porn line Ian just said.

The squeaking of the bed frame stops suddenly as she slaps her hand over her mouth when she realizes that her laughter had been a bit too loud.

She hears Ian and Mickey whispering as she slowly backs away from the door hoping she can make it back to her room without getting caught. She's just a few steps away from the door when the floorboard betrays her and creaks in protest as she steps down.

"Svetlana?" Ian calls out.

If she didn't have the extra thirty pounds of baby weight and swollen feet she could probably make a run for it and be in her room before Ian has even made it out of Mick and to their door. She's still tempted to run though, even if she knows she'll only waddle a few feet away before she has to stop and breathe. She'll most likely end up getting caught either way so she goes ahead and answers Ian. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" Ian questions as Mickey calls out "Were you listening to us fucking?"

Svetlana knows she might as well should tell the truth and say that listening in to them wasn't really her intention when she came out of her room but curiosity got the best of her and she had to stop and listen for just a bit. Which is honestly exactly what had happened yet she still answers with a defensive "No! Why would I want to listen to all the awful grunts you are making?"

"Well then what the fuck are you doing by the door?" Mickey yells out to her.

She stares at the door hoping Mickey can feel the piercing look she's giving him before answering, "I am hungry! I was on my way to the kitchen!"

"What are you going to feed my daughter?" Ian questions her.

Svetlana waddles closer to the door so she doesn't have to keep yelling, because the last thing she needs is to wake up Yev, "Cold left over pasta. Or cereal. Maybe a ham and jelly sandwich."

She could probably eat the whole refrigerator if they let her. Her daughter usually decided that any time from midnight to about two in the morning was a good time to eat. Or show off her kickboxing skills. She didn't know if she preferred the pain of being internally beat up or the pain of awful heartburn that came with eating so late.

She hears Ian sighing and she's sure he rolls his eyes too before he calls out, "It's either ham and cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You can't have ham and jelly!"

"Yes, I can! It's actually very good."

"Can you two idiots wait to have a conversation about nasty ass food concoctions Svet's feeding the kid at a later time?"

"Sorry Mick." Ian says quietly then yells to her, "Svetlana if you wait like ten minutes I'll make you something to eat. And it'll be something that normal people would eat!"

She agrees only because she knows by the time Ian is out of his room (and Mickey) she'll have already eaten her ham and jelly sandwich. If she eats fast she can probably eat two.

She's not even in the kitchen completely when the squeaking of the bed starts again.

She really needs a boyfriend, or girlfriend, to help occupy her time she thinks as she searches for bread. She's almost starting to miss Nika, not enough to call her but she may just happen to pass by whichever corner she's on now just to say hi.

Twelve minutes later, not that Svetlana timed it or anything, Ian comes out of his room wearing just his boxers, his face is still slightly flushed from his earlier endeavors. With her pregnancy nose smelling everything within a twenty mile radius Svetlana smells sweat, soap and, for some strange reason, strawberries on him when he passes by her to get his own fork to eat out of the bowl of cold pasta she's enjoying. He's kind enough to not bring up her listening at the door to his and Mickey's sexual escapade. They eat in comfortable silently for a few minutes before she breaks it asking, "Are you hiding strawberries in your room? If you are hiding fruit from your children I am going to start hiding snacks for me and Yevy in my room!"

Ian looks at her like she's lost her mind, which some days she feels she has, but it's still unnecessary for him to look at her that way. As Ian is just about to answer her Mickey walks in, turning on every light from his room to the kitchen and making so much noise she's sure Yev will be down here soon to see what's going on. She shushes him even though she knows he won't listen to her.

When he comes close to her and snatches the fork from her hand she notices the faint smell of strawberries on him too. "Were you eating strawberries too?" She asks as she takes one last sniff to make sure her nose was working correctly. It was. "I want some too!" Svetlana demands.

Mickey raises an eyebrow at her before turning to look at Ian who just smirks at him. A few seconds pass before the look of realization hits and she notices the slight reddening of his ears. Now she really wants to know what they were doing with the fruit.

"So, Mick, were you eating strawberries in bed? I was." Ian says still smirking.

When Mickey just glares at him she knows whatever they were doing is going to be interesting.

"I really hate you sometimes." Mickey tells Ian as he snatches Svetlana's fork away from her. He takes a few bites before he turns to look at her as she's still waiting for an answer about the strawberries. "I'd rather have cold lube in my ass then the hot globs of spit this one likes to use." He says pointing his food filled fork towards Ian. "But it was Ian's idea to get fruity shit."

Without missing a beat Ian replies, "Fruity lube for my fruity boyfriend."

Mickey just glares at Ian as he laughs at his own hilarity.

Svetlana doesn't bother to say anything to either of the two idiots, she just scrunches up her nose at the visual of Ian spitting on Mickey's ass. Though she does agree that having warm spit on your asshole is a strange sensation but she'd still prefer that then cold lube. Mickey's a bit strange.

Her daughter gives her a not so gentle kick as a reminder that they're not eating when there's a perfectly good bowl of cold pasta in front of her. She rubs her belly hoping to soothe her difficult child before taking Ian's fork away from him before Mickey eats all the food.

"I wouldn't eat off Ian's fork if I was you." Mickey tells her as he continues to help himself to her food.

Ian nods his head in agreement, "If it was just you I'd let you but whatever goes into you, my Tatiana gets it too." 

"I am not naming her Tatiana." Svetlana says ignoring their protest of using Ian's fork. She takes a few bites before talking again, "It does not taste like ass so it is fine." 

A few minutes later, after Svetlana had emptied her pasta bowl and grudgingly eaten the orange Ian had peeled for her when he insisted that she needed to incorporate something healthy into her late night meals, she finally decides she full enough to go back to sleep. 

As she goes to stand, a shrill cry rips from her throat as sharp pains shoot through her waist and back. Her belly tightens around her growing child as she feels her shifting around. Her outcry of pain must have startled her boys, being that they're both examining her with wide eyes. Mickey reacts first, standing to help her as she's still hunched over griping her back. She's afraid to move as she knows either way she decides to go, be it sitting back down or standing up straight, it's going to hurt like hell. She grips Mickey's hand as he asks if she's ok. 

"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M OK?" She yells. She then feels mildly bad for her outburst as he's the only one trying to help her. "I'm sorry." she tells him gripping his hand tighter as she tries easing her body down to the chair. 

The father to the child she's carrying is still sitting in his chair with a shocked expression on his face. She's tempted to punch him just so he'll react. She really hopes when she goes into actual labor, because these were just the beginning pains of her body getting ready, he'll be more helpful. The last time she had gone into labor with one of her surrogate babies he had just looked at her and asked if she was really going to leave the house with wet pants. She understood the nonchalance then since he wasn't involved with that kid but if he should do the same this time around she might just hit him with a hammer. 

Once Mickey notices that she's ok he moves away from her knocking Ian upside his head. "What the fuck, Gallagher? You're just gonna sit there watching and not help?" 

"I.... You.... Shit!" he exclaims finally reacting to them. "Do you have a bag packed?" he asks as he stands and starts to pace the kitchen area. "Of course you don't. We still have 57 days until your due date. I wrote it down! Maybe it's those Braxton Hicks contractions?" he continues mainly to himself. 

Svetlana and Mickey just watch as Ian keeps pacing and talking. By now the tightening in her belly has lessened and the pain in her back is no longer as excruciating. The baby, who she really needs to name or she's going to end up being called Iana like Kev suggested, has slowed her kicking and moving too. Svetlana pulls her shirt up so she can push at the little lump on her stomach, which has appeared with the latest shifting of her child, with a finger. It's probably a foot. At least she hopes it is and it's not the baby's head and she's causing some lasting brain damage poking it like she is. 

Mickey turns away from his still pacing boyfriend with an eye roll at his over dramatics about not being prepared. He laughs when he notices she’s poking at her belly, Mickey pushes her hand away so he can poke at her baby too. The baby pushes back through Svetlana's stomach when Mickey moves his hand away. 

"That's so fucken strange that she does that." Mickey says as he starts a poking war with her daughter.

"Does it hurt when she moves around like that?" 

"Sometimes. It is more creepy and weird feeling when baby moves in you. It is like an alien has taken a room in my body and lets me know when it does not like something by kicking me, repeatedly. But it is interesting too, to see where she is at when you can see her push out on my belly, yes?" 

Still with the poking, he answers, "Interesting is one way to put it." 

"Are you having a good time playing with my kid, Mick?" Ian, who's finally stopped doing whatever it was he was doing, asks smiling at them. 

Mickey quickly moves his hand away from Svetlana with a scowl and a raised eyebrow at Ian. 

With one last poke to her daughter, Svetlana rolls her shirt back down, "You are done looking like crazy person, talking to yourself walking in circles?" 

"I panicked for a brief moment. Then that's when I realized we aren't ready for her! The only thing we have is clothes from Amy and Gemma. And a stolen car seat from Carl and Bonnie." 

"We are not sure it is stolen." She interjects, even though she's almost certain it is. 

Ignoring her weak protests about Carl and Bonnie not stealing something Ian continues, "We really need to be prepared. Have a plan of action ready! I'll work on it tomorrow. And  
I'll call the birthing center to register us for Lamaze classes." 

Offended by Ian's declaration she argues, "I do not need classes on how to push a child out!" 

"Maybe not, but I need it so I can be helpful." 

"Oh, just like you were so helpful right now when Svet was getting pains?" Mickey scoffs. 

"Shut up, Mick! But, see, I didn't know what to do! So the class will help me. Us. We'll all go together!" 

"Fuck no, I ain't going to no damn class." 

Haughtily, Svetlana tells him, "I already know everything I need to know about having babies so I am not going either." 

"Come on, you guys. It'll be good for us!" Ian pleads with them. 

****

Two weeks later when Svetlana finds herself at the stupid Lamaze class with a smiling Ian and an angry Mickey she shouldn't really be all that surprised. 

That afternoon had begun with what should have just been a friendly visit to her favorite sister in law's place. Yet it turned out to be a trick just to get her out the house and to Lamaze class. She had hoped Ian had forgotten all about his bright idea and moved on. She should have known better than to expect that from him. 

Her first sign that something was going on should have been when Mandy, who was quite fond of frozen dinners and inviting herself over other people's house to eat, invited them over for dinner for a change. She never offered to make people food unless it was a necessity. 

Her next sign should have been when she saw Mandy, with Max on her hip, already standing outside her apartment complex waiting for them. 

Ian hadn't even made a complete stop yet before Mandy was making quick work of getting Yevgeny unbuckled from his booster seat. Svetlana hadn't even opened her door yet before Yev's door was slammed shut and Ian was speeding off. Mickey, who had already opened his door and was about to step out was unfortunately left to have a leg dangling from the car as Ian made his getaway. 

Ian doesn’t bother to slow down, he just reaches over and hauls Mickey back up into his seat. 

With wide eyes, his eyebrows practically reaching his hair line and shaking hands Mick closed his door and then proceeds to punch Ian. "Are you out of your fucken mind? What the fuck are you trying to do? Kill me?" He punches him again for good measure. "There's probably better ways to off me!" 

Ian, trying but not succeeding to dodge Mick's punches, yells back, "It was part of my plan. I didn't know you were going to open the door so fast." Another punch connects to his arm, "Stop hitting me, damn it! I'm trying to drive."

Clutching her baby bump in fear of Ian's speed racer antics with one hand while throwing in her own hits with the other Svetlana shrieks, "What would you have done had it been me to open the door and get out? I would have fallen and hurt our child!" 

Blindly swinging to deflect the hits Ian answers, "You move too slow now. I knew you wouldn't even get your seat belt undone by the time Mandy got Yev out." 

Which is true. So, Svetlana leaves the idiots up front to their brawl as she looks out the window, "Where are we going?" she asks. 

When she doesn't receive a reply she knows it's nowhere good. 

Still clinging to the hope that Ian is taking her somewhere she actually wants to be Svetlana is almost relieved when they pull into a shopping center not too far from Mandy's apartment. She thinks there's a Chinese restaurant somewhere in there. Dismally, all her hopes die a sad death when she notices that the door they park in front of has bright flyers announcing prenatal massages and Lamaze classes.

Mickey must notice at the same time she does as they both let out groans that make them sound like wounded animals. 

Ian just ignores their lack of enthusiasm to be there and turns to look at her, "Do this for me and I'll let you eat whatever you want for the rest of the day." He doesn't bother  
waiting for reply before getting out of the car. He probably thought food was the perfect bribe for her. It wasn't. Or, at least not this time. 

Mickey, who for once was on her side, locks the car door and flips Ian off. "How long do you think he'll last before he gives up and we go home?" he asks her. 

Sighing, she answers, "We both know he will not just give up. He's a stubborn shit who likes to make my life more difficult!" She shifts around as she tries to pry herself off the old leather seats of their beat up car that she's sticking to. She feels she's melting too, considering how hot it's getting in the car. They should have probably tried to get the keys away from Ian before they started their sit in. 

Only a few minutes pass when Ian gives up on silently waiting on the hood of the car for them, he bangs on the window and through clinched teeth says, "Get out of the damn car. It's hot and I already paid for this shit so we're doing it!" 

Svetlana blames her full bladder and the heat for agreeing so fast to get out of the car. She wonders if she can just stay in the restroom the whole time the class is going on. Probably not, but she might still try. 

Mickey, still refusing to get out, calls out, "You two dumb asses have fun." 

"I'm not going to tell you again, GET OUT THE FUCKEN CAR!" Ian, now red faced and sweaty, yells. 

Startled at his sudden outburst Mickey shouts, "Jesus Christ, calm your ass down. I'm going. Fuck!" He slams the door behind him as they follow a smiling Ian. 

After she's relieved herself and Ian has signed them in with the receptionist they head back to a large room where they find a few other pregnant women scattered throughout. Svetlana looks around and notices how happy these other women seemed to be about being here. Their spouses share the same look Mick has plastered on his face, boredom and resignation. 

As Ian gathers paper work and a mat for Svetlana to sit on she looks around and decides that maybe, and it's a strong maybe, it won't be so bad after all. She is curious to see how the lady teaching the class is going to explain child birth to all these expecting mothers because there is no way she can prepare them for the torture they are going to go through pushing a child out of their vaginal canal. 

With puppyish enthusiasm Ian drags Svetlana and Mickey further into the room. She'll never say it out loud because she doesn't do feelings and shit but she's so very glad that Ian is excited about all this.

Though it had been her idea to have another baby Ian had taken to it like fish to water. Especially once they were actually sure she was pregnant. She had never seen him more excited or determined to get his life on track like he was now that he was going to be a father. Mornings when they would meet in the kitchen to take their meds, Svetlana her prenatal vitamins and Ian his own vitamins plus his Lithium, he wouldn't even look at them like they were a threat anymore. Which she took as a good thing. 

Then there was the pure joy he would have when he would put his hands on her belly to feel their child move around. True, it had been strange having someone talk to her stomach it was still heartwarming that he wanted his daughter to recognize his voice before she even made her appearance in the world. Let's not forget the amount of baby crap she would make him put back every time they went to the store. She didn't know why people felt the needed to have so much shit for small babies when all they did their first few months was eat, sleep and poop. She knows once the baby is born she won't be able to stop Ian from spoiling her but she still has somewhat of a say so now. 

Ian had even stopped bitching so much about having to go to therapy. He was now on a mission to get his family to go to therapy with him. Ian figured with the family he had they all needed counseling in their lives. Which lead him to decide that maybe he should become a school counselor or something along those lines once he was done with college. Mickey and Svetlana had both encouraged him and told him that they wholeheartedly believed he would be great at it. This was also around the time Mickey had stopped looking at her like she was a waste of space and like she had finally, for once in her life, done something right by deciding it was time for another baby. 

As he's guiding them to the back of the room Ian stops to get a large exercise ball from a wired shelf, "Here, pick a ball. The lady up front said to grab one to sit on." 

Shoving Svetlana out of the way Mickey goes to get a ball for her. She's surprised he's being helpful for once in his life. She should have known he had an ulterior motive when she sees the ball flying past her. It hits Ian full force on his chest making him stumble back into the shelf causing the big colorful balls to topple over and roll all over the place. 

They look at each other in shock as she tells them exactly what she told Yev last week at the grocery store when he pulled a plum from the bottom of a display causing the rest of them to follow suit and roll everywhere, "Hurry, keep walking and pretend like you don't know what happened." 

Once they've settled on the floor and people have stopped staring at them they start laughing. 

Lamaze class turns out to not be as horrible as she and Mickey expected. There's a lot of moving around to show her what positions are best to help the pushing process. She spends most of the time laughing with Mickey about the different positions they've been caught in. Ian's like the responsible parent shushing them, telling them to pay attention and taking notes. Mickey makes her get off the exercise ball, so he can have a turn, when he sees that she's enjoying herself a little too much on it. It's supposed to help relax the pelvic muscles or so the instructor claims. Mickey and Svetlana use it as a means to run over Ian and take pictures to send Mandy. 

Tired of their antics Ian finally snaps at them, "This is why Yev gets sent home with notes saying he has a short attention span and doesn't pay attention! Stop your shit so I can pay attention and be ready when my kid comes out!" 

Svetlana takes pity on Ian and quietly sits on her mat to be a good student and listen to what's going on. Later, she won't say it out loud because Mickey will make fun of her and Ian will gloat but she actually learns quite a bit useful information. 

She's never known that there were right ways to breathe when you're pushing a kid out. She just thought breathing and screaming at the same time was the best way to handle child birth. Apparently it wasn't. 

It's at least an hour more of Svetlana complaining about the hard floor, Mickey rolling around on the ball and Ian being slightly embarrassed of them before the instructor wishes them luck on their deliveries. She and Mickey clap the loudest when it's all over. Not because of the outstanding information they received but because it's finally over. 

Later in the Chinese restaurant she knew was in the shopping center, Ian asks her if she noticed some of the expecting fathers eyeing her. She had noticed a few looking in her direction but she just figured it was because she had two guys with her oppose to the one all the other future moms had with them. Plus the noise her and Mickey were making probably added to the attention they got. When she tells them as much Mickey tells her, "Yeah, the tight shirt with half your tits hanging out had nothing to do with any of it." 

Trying to talk and inhale her food at the same time she answers, "It is not my fault they are growing!" 

"Any time I see someone checking you out I hope it's the person who will finally take you away from us. So me and Ian can have the house to ourselves now that Iggy found someone dumb enough to date him." Mickey tells her as he steals food from her plate. 

Ian makes a choking sound before answering, "Svet's never gonna leave us! She has our babies! Plus, she loves us now!" 

"Yes, I love you idiots like the girls who get Sherlock syndrome." 

They both share the same expression they usually reserve for her when she's speaking Russian to them. 

"You know, how girls fall for the person who abducts them. Sherlock syndrome.” 

Ian gives her a condescending look as he pats her hand, "It's Stockholm syndrome." 

Mickey laughs for a few solid minutes before she gets tired of him and kicks him under the table. 

"Moving on past random strangers ogling you I really liked the class. When we get home I'm gonna get your bag ready. And we need to find you something that will be your focal point when you're having contractions." 

"We'll use a bottle of vodka." Mickey interjects. 

Ian nods before continuing, "I'm ready. I just have to be calm and get you to the hospital as quickly and as safely as possible once you do go into labor. Then, there, I don't have to do much but be supportive and hold your hand. I'm gonna be great at the whole having babies thing. I could probably deliver my daughter my own damn self with all that I learned today.” He says proudly.

****  
It’s really a shame that a few weeks later when Svetlana’s water breaks while they’re over at the Alibi Ian forgets everything he had learned that day. Svetlana doesn’t miss the opportunity to remind him of his previous declaration while he’s running around like a chicken with his head cut off. She tells him smugly, “I thought you were so prepared for this you could probably deliver her yourself. What happened?” 

She doesn’t know if he replies or not because another pain shoots through her body making her sway, nearly falling over Yev who’s questioning why she peed on herself.

Good thing they have a Mickey who has taken charge and is yelling for people to get out of their damn way before this baby is born at a dirty bar instead of a clean hospital.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it took me forever and a dang day to post a new chapter and I have no good excuse except pure laziness! So, I do apologize for that. I hope y'all like this chapter and thanks for reading it!

Svetlana is driving down the street like a maniac when she decides that her baby factory is getting shut down. No more babies! No more surrogate babies and definitely no more babies that she has to deal with after they've been pushed out.

She feels another sharp jab in her back as she's silently declaring her new plan in life. A plan that doesn't include pain so bad she's making weird groaning noises and getting slightly cross eyed as she's trying to pay attention to the road in front of her. The tightening in her belly keeps getting worse too, but she doesn't stop even as the contraction rips through her body.

She keeps driving, though she wants nothing more than to pull over and scream and cry and kick Ian in the dick for agreeing to impregnate her. What kind of idiot agrees to knock up their boyfriend's wife, she thinks as she grips the steering wheel tighter. Her knuckles have long lost color in them and her fingers are starting to cramp at how hard she's holding on, but she doesn't let go as she takes deep calming breaths.

She's a few blocks from The Alibi when she gets stuck behind a driver who would probably lose a race to a snail! There, she finally, albeit reluctantly, lets go of the steering just to press down on the horn. She's honking and cussing, in English and Russian, for the slow driver to move out of her way when she hears a small voice in the background yelling along.

"Hurry the hell up or get out of my way asshole!"

"Yev, watch your mouth!" Svetlana scolds him. Though she knows it will make no difference to him since he's surrounded by people who say worse regularly.  
"Daddy Ian says Papa has rage road, do you have that too?" Yevgeny asks as he adjusts the water floaties still on his arm from their time in the pool.

"It is road rage and your Papa just likes yelling at people. But no, I do not have that. I am just in a hurry." Svetlana explains as she's finally able to get over to the next lane.   
She sticks her hand out the window and gives the old man a one finger salute but he doesn't seem to notice. She, however, does notice the small hand out the back window with a finger of its own sticking out. She sighs, but doesn't reprimand him since she knows it's just the obvious bad parenting Ian and Mickey are doing with her blue eyed boy.

She looks in the rear view mirror at Yev and realizes that she's not doing so great with parenting right now either. Yev, still damp from the pool, is shirtless and wearing his ninja turtles swim trunks. He at least is covered in a gallon of sunblock plus has on water shoes, floaties and water goggles. Though, that's all Ian's doing. Svetlana and Mickey would have been fine sending him outside in his tighty whities and barefoot. Floaties wouldn't have even crossed their minds since their pool only had about two feet of water in it.  
Stuck at a red light, Svetlana takes one last look at Yev and realizes that she could blame her having to rush across town while she suffers through contractions, which keep getting closer and closer, with a half-naked kid along for the crazy ride could be blamed on Mickey. 

 

When her doctor had informed her at her last weekly visit that she was walking around already 3 centimeters dilated and should be prepared to go at a moment’s notice, she had quickly, or as fast as her newly large body let her move, gone to her job to announce that she would be out for a while but would eventually return with a new baby. Since then she had taken to lounging around doing a whole lot of nothing, while Mickey and Ian waited around for something to happen. After two days of nothing but sporadic contractions Mick had said she was probably nowhere near ready to pop and just needed a reason to stop going to work. Which was only a little bit true.

So she could avoid Mickey, and his incessant complaining, she and Yev had decided to spend their day outside in the pool Ian had been thoughtful enough to get them. Though she's sure he regretted buying it after it turned out to be more trouble than it was worth. She would have thought Ian would have had no problem blowing the thing up but after a few minutes of wasted breath and a still flat swimming pool Ian, red faced and frustrated, had kicked it aside and walked away.

Laughing at her best friends failed attempts, Mandy had then volunteered to blow it up. Only, after a few minutes of puffed cheeks and no improvement to the pool she had also given up and sat down next to Svetlana to watch Mick take his turn with it. Mickey fared no better in the blowing department and had soon resorted to yelling and complaining that Ian had bought a defective pool. Iggy, who just happened to show up at the tail end of Mickey's rant about cheap pools and a boyfriend, a wife and a sister who were no damn help, looked at the pool then to the frustrated people around it and had simply said "Why didn't y'all use a bike pump or take it to the gas station and use the air machines for tires?"

It always amazed her when Iggy actually had a bright idea. Mickey, Ian and even Mandy had been surprised too if their wide eyed expressions were anything to go by.

Seeing Mickey and Ian struggling to carry (because it wouldn't have fit in their small car) a good sized inflatable pool up the street towards them had been the highlight of her day. It had probably been the highlight of Mandy's day too since she had wasted no time in taking plenty of pictures so they could laugh at them throughout the remainder of the day.

 

Not long after Mandy and Max had gone home and Svetlana and Yevgeny had started to resemble raisins, Mickey said he and Ian were going down to The Alibi for a beer or two. Though she had told them that her contraction were getting stronger and she would feel better if they stayed at home in case today was the day their daughter showed up, they still decided to go. So, of course, about an hour after they left her, her contractions had gotten so much worse and were coming in closer together. Had Mickey listened to her she wouldn't be in this situation right now.

She's never been happier to the see the old building The Alibi is in like she is that day when she pulls up in front of it. She doesn't even bother to make a complete stop before she abruptly shifts into park. She's more on the sidewalk than on the actual street but she figures if there ever was a time for awful parking this is it. As she undoes Yev's seat belt she feels the now familiar pain of another contraction in her back. It works its way down and she feels her inner walls constricting, preparing to open up to let her child out. They hurriedly make their way inside.

Svetlana realizes she's swung the door open with more force than she intended when the door hits the wall with a loud bang. She's sure she looks like a lunatic when everyone turns to look at her. Unfortunately, none of the gawkers are the idiots she's looking for. She spots Kev in his usual place behind the bar. He's wiping down a glass that no matter how hard he rubs will never shine again.

"Where are dumb and dumber?" She asks him as she waddles over to a bar stool, pulling Yev with her.

Kev gives her a once over before asking, "Are you alright? You're all sweaty and your face is all pinched up."

"No, I need the stupid shit that knocked me up and his equally stupid shit boyfriend to take me to hospital!" She says in between labored breaths.

"Oh shit! Ummm, I don't know where they're at!" Kev yells looking around franticly as if there are so many places they can be in the small bar.

"I saw them," Gonzo, or one of the other Muppets, says, "playing pool earlier but then Ian was getting too handsy so Mick told him to quit his shit. And then Ian, in this weird breathy voice, told him, what are you gonna do about it big boy? Then they went to the restroom together giggling like school girls."

When he notices the slack jawed expression everyone around him has he quickly adds, "I wasn't listening in or anything. I just happened to hear them and notice the direction they were going in." he says before turning away from them taking a drink from his glass.

After giving his patron one last concerned look Kev turns to Svetlana, "I'll go get them from the restroom."

Yet, he hasn't even made it out from behind the counter when he's already second guessing his decision, "Mickey is gonna kick my ass when I interrupt him bending Ian over the sink."

"It is the other way around. Mickey will be the one with his ass in the air." Svetlana says as she tries rubbing out the tension in her belly. "I will go get them, I have seen it all before." she adds as she goes to get off of the stool. And, that's when everything goes to shit.

She feels a sudden popping sensation and she swears she hears a quiet pop, like someone cracking a knuckle, within her. It's followed by an immediate gush of warm fluid running down her leg. Svetlana looks down at her now soaked pants and regrets changing out of her already wet underwear and t-shirt that she was wearing in the pool earlier. She looks back up just as Ian and Mickey walk out of the restroom. They're grinning at each other and don't notice that the bar has gone very quiet as everyone looks on to Svetlana as she glares at them.

 

"You dumb fucks! I told you not to leave!" Svetlana yells as she starts to walk towards them but stops when she feels herself leaking more.

"Oh shit!" Mickey yells rushing towards her. He's in such a hurry he doesn't notice the chair pushed away from the table and crashes into to it.

She hears the hard thump of Mickey's body hitting the floor followed by the groan when the chair falls on him. A better person would rush to him to make sure his alright. She, however, stays rooted in her spot. She doesn't want to leak anymore and cause a bigger mess for Kevin who keeps looking from her to the small paddle accumulating under her as he wrings the lone towel in his hand.

Running as fast as his short legs allow Yev runs to Mickey to help him up. "Papa, did you fall?"

"Nah, kid. I just wanted to hug the floor. Why aren't you dressed?" Mickey asks as he pushes himself off the floor with Yev pulling on his hand in attempt to help.

Svetlana is yelling before Yev even gets a chance to answer, "I had to hurry! Because, you idiots decided to leave me when I told you not to!"

She hunches over with a strained "Aaargh!" when she gets a stronger contraction. Maybe the stupid Lamaze lady was right and getting too worked up will just make her delivery more difficult and painful.

Finally, after standing by the restroom like a statue, Ian reacts to the drama around him, "Oh fuck! I'm not ready. I was ready two weeks ago but not now." he says as he starts his pacing.

How he could be ready two weeks ago and not know Svetlana doesn't know and doesn't bother to ask. She wants to go knock some sense into him and tell him she can't deal with his Frank antics of pacing and mumbling to himself right now when she needs to be at a hospital with her legs propped up and a doctor between them. She should have just called Mandy or Debbie, someone reliable, who would have rushed to take her to the hospital. Instead she's stuck with these two who don't know what to do.

"Don't just stand there!" She bellows to Mick since he seems to be a little more competent right now. "Let's go!"

"Oh, God. I'm going to be a dad! Why would someone trust me to be a father?" Ian calls out looking up to the ceiling like it has all of life's answers on it. Though, he must see something because he turns to look at her and yells "Why are we still here? Let's go, let's go. Mick, get the car ready. Why are you just standing around?"

"Are you fucken kidding me Gallagher? You're the idiot whose just been standing around!" Mickey argues.

"Shit, you're right, let's go!" And he sets off running. 

 

Svetlana guesses he's on his way to the door, but he doesn't make there before disaster strikes. Ian trips and falls over the chair Mick knocked down just moments ago. As he’s sprawled on the floor, Yev starts to giggle uncontrollably. Svetlana would laugh too if the situation was different and she didn't have a kid trying to claw its way out of her. Ian is off the floor fast as lightening but only to start his pacing and mumbling again. She doesn't know if she should laugh or cry when his pacing leads him further from the door instead of closer to it.

Yev turns to her, probably to see if she's seen the fiasco in front of them when he notices she standing there with wet pants, "Mama did you pee on yourself? Is Papa gonna take away all your favorite things too now that you had an accident?" Yev asks her obviously concerned about her getting in trouble.

"Why the fuck was there a chair just thrown on the floor?" Ian is yelling now, as he's well into what can only be called panic mode. "Oh, shit! I feel sick..... I can't do this..... I'm not ready!" he hunches over and starts his own deep breathing like he's the one in labor.

"You are not ready? You are not ready?! I am the one pushing this child out. Plus I thought you said you were so damn prepared for this you could deliver this kid yourself?" Svetlana yells at him.

Mickey, obviously tired of the bullshit Ian and Svetlana are putting him thorough, starts yelling, "Move your ass, both of you! Ian, we don't have time for you to be panicking now. Svetlana, start walking to the car, standing there yelling isn't doing shit for us either. I told both of you dumb fucks from the very beginning this wasn't a good idea. Maybe next time someone will finally listen to me! Now let's move it" 

Yev is still next to her asking about wet pants, Mickey is yelling for people to get out of their damn way as he pulls her hand dragging her to the door and Ian is still yapping behind her about not being ready when her worse contraction hits. It's like someone is stabbing her repeating in the stomach and punching her in the back. She must scream or yell or make someone kind of obscene noise because Mickey turns around with wide eyes and has concern for her written all over his face. She feels herself swaying and she's suddenly very nauseated but she needs to keep moving so she won't give birth here in a bar surrounded by dirty drunks.

She's suddenly lifted off the floor and in Kevin's arms bridal style. He's grimacing, and she doesn't know if it's because she's heavier than what he expected or because he has to touch her wet pants. However, he steadily carries her to the car all while yelling for Mick to hurry the fuck up and drive as fast as he can as he shoves in her to the back seat of the car. He either felt pity for her just standing there in pain and no one really helping or he was just tired of her leaking all over the damn place. Either way, she appreciates and tells him as much before he pushes Ian in behind her.

"If you really appreciate me, Kevina is a really nice name. Now go have your kid, so we can add one more delinquent to the south side." he says as he closes the door giving Ian a look of disappointment at his lack of composure.

Then they're finally off to deliver her daughter.

She's taking deep breaths and squeezing Ian's hand while Mickey swerves around cars that are slowing them down. She feels more amniotic fluid coming out of her and onto Ian. He just scrunches up his noses but doesn't comment about it. Probably only because he knows she has no problem punching him. She's still tempted to punch him when he shifts to move away from her, but she just squeezes his hand harder instead. Mickey is still honking and yelling at people where she notices something extremely important. It’s also something she should have noticed long before. There isn't a small voice yelling out his own threats in the booster seat next to her.

"Stop!" Svetlana yells, "We left Yev!"

Mickey slams on the breaks causing her and Ian to jerk forward. The car behind them honks and just barely has time to swerve around them before it crashed into them.

"What the fuck! Why didn't someone grab him?" Mickey yells at them.

"Why did you not grab him? I'm in labor, asshole!"

If Svetlana is honest with herself she's not completely surprised that they left their kid behind. Between her concentrating on getting through the pain, Ian being a useless bastard and Mickey too busy yelling she should be glad them three got in the car alright. Mickey turns around cutting through the oncoming traffic all while doing what he does best, yell and blame other people for his misgivings. Just as they are nearing their previous location Kev is calling Mickey's phone.

"Yeah, I know we left Yev behind." is Mickey's only response before hanging up to continue his driving. 

Pulling back up to their favorite bar as their angry child stands outside with a scowl on his face, his swim trucks a bit twisted and a floatie sliding down his arm is probably going to be her favorite vision of Yev for the rest of her life. She knows she shouldn’t laugh but the angry stance he’s doing makes him look exactly like Mick. He’s already perfected the arched eyebrow and grimace she can usually find on her husband’s face. This will probably be something he remembers too. Except it's probably not as funny on his end and will be something he talks about in therapy when he's older; the fateful day his sister was born and he was left behind half-dressed at a local bar.

"You left me here!" he yells with an added stomp of his little foot.

"Sorry son! Now, move your ass before your sister is born in a car!" Mickey tells him as he opens his door ushering him in. Once Yev is strapped in his chair they're off again. Svetlana tries to apologize to Yev for being an awful parent but he just crosses his arms, sticks his tongue out at her and turns angrily to look out the window. He's obviously spending too much time with his dramatic fathers.  
"Do you think he will ever forgive us for this?" She asks Mick.

"Would you forgive us?" he questions back.

"He's Mick's kid." Ian adds, "He's gonna bring this up any chance he gets from now until the day we die." he continues with a tired sigh now that his panicked state seems to have dwindled down.

At last, they make it to the hospital where Mickey leaves her at the entrance of the labor and delivery section. Ian tries to slyly get back in the car with their Milkovich boys as they go to find parking. Yet, one well-placed kick later he changes his mind and limps inside behind her. It's all a whirlwind blur for the next few minutes. She's poked and prodded. Spread open and measured. And, asked dumb questions that she answers through uneven breaths all while squeezing Ian's hand. He flinches a few times and opens his mouth as if to complain but thinks twice about it after the murderous glares she sends him. She's progressing a lot of faster than her other deliveries so the nurse luckily doesn't send her back into the waiting room or worse, back home.

After a few minutes of Svetlana groaning as she feels the pressure of her daughter starting to work her way down, the curtain, separating her and the other women groaning in pain, is swung back to reveal Mickey and a now dressed Yev barreling in.

"I found some clothes for Yev, I'm not a hundred percent sure their clean but it's better than what he had on. And, I found this bag back there too. Seems dipshit here wasn't completely useless after all because it has clothes for you too Svet." Mickey says, handing her Ian's Army duffle bag.  
"Fuck you, Mick. I panicked! All new dads panic!" Ian argues as he takes the bag away from Svetlana.

It probably has their entire home in it from the ruckus it's making as Ian digs through it. He pulls out a few coloring books and crayons to hand to Yev. There are magazines and a few book because apparently they'll have time to read while her body gets ripped open. He pulls out a shirt, that she's been wondering where it had gone, and a dry pair of tights to give to her.

"I told you I was prepared. I even have snacks in case you and Yev start complaining that you're starving."

"I am kinda hungry." Yevgeny says from his corner on the edge of Svetlana's bed.

Ian tosses him a granola bar and keeps pulling stuff out of the never ending bag. "Do you want to change into dry clothes or are you going to get a hospital gown. I brought onesies, socks and even a dress for our daughter too."

"Jesus, Ian did you leave anything at home?" Mickey asks, eyeing the bag suspiciously.

"I should have left you at home, stop your bitching. See, you handled the pressure better in an emergency but I plan better for the long haul. Do you want a granola bar?" Ian asks waving it in Mickey's direction.

Mickey makes an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes but extends his hand for the food Ian offers. Watching them eat is like adding salt to an open wound. Here she is suffering through the greatest thing her body will ever do and these fools are just stuffing their faces like they don't have a care in the world.  
She understood her precious boy Yevgeny eating since he doesn't really understand what's going on, plus a fed Yev is a happy Yev. But, Tweedledee and Tweedledum eating isn't acceptable. So, as Ian raises his hand to take another bite of his own snack she reaches over and smacks it out of his hand. It goes flying across the room, hits the curtain and falls in a crumbled mess to the floor.

Startled at his sudden lack of nourishment Ian turns and yells, "What the fuck, Svetlana?"

"It is unfair for you to be eating when I lay here in pain!" She yells back. She can't help but notice Mickey hurriedly stuffing the remains of his food into his mouth, in case she tries to take his away from him too.

"I'm hungry! We haven't eaten in hours." he tells her as he picks up the mess off if the floor.

"If I have to suffer you can starve for a few hours- Arrgh!." Svetlana screams as she feels another pain shoot through her body.

Ian is instantly by her side grabbing her hand, she holds it like it's a lifeline and squeezes with all her might. She hears his intake of breath as his fingers pop but he doesn't try to get out of her firm grip. Through a tunneled haze she makes out Ian attempting to talk her through the pains. He's telling her to breathe, to concentrate on squeezing his hand and to remember to just keep breathing. How she manages it she's not sure but she leans over and punches Ian in what's she's sure is Mickey's favorite body part on him.

As he doubles over groaning in pain she kindly reminds him, "Just remember to breathe through the pain."

The next hour progresses in about the same manner. Svetlana suffers and Ian attempts to be helpful, or Ian suffering and Svetlana being condescendingly helpful. It's a good system for them.

The second hour brings a collection of Gallaghers and Milkovichs to witness the misery she's decided to put herself through. They're luckily around to observe the idiocy of Ian boldly stating that he's a bit bored and was expecting the whole labor process to be a lot more exciting. They also get to see when Svetlana throws a cup of ice directly at his big head. Later, when Ian complains about the small bruise forming on his forehead she makes sure to tell him that at least it's given him some excitement in his apparently boring day.

Hour three leaves them alone after a flustered nurse kicks out all their family on account of the noise they were making. When nurses in a maternity ward are upset about the noise coming from a room that says a lot about the people in it. With Mandy and Iggy taking Yev down to the cafeteria, because he was starving and tired of the food in Ian's bag of wonders, it gave Svetlana a chance for a cat nap. It, sadly, only lasted about ten seconds before a heartless nurse made Svetlana get out of bed for a walk around the maternity floor.

The fourth hour begins with Svetlana leaning head first into a wall as she took deep breaths. She inhales through her nose and exhales through her mouth as the churning in her stomach became more persistent. If it wasn't bad enough to deal with contractions that refused to stop she now had to stand in the hallway gagging. She feels a sudden pressure and mumbles into the wall, "Oh great, if I do not throw up on myself I'm going to poop on myself". Yet, before she can pry herself off of the wall to start her long journey back to her room she realizes that if she doesn't move fast enough it's not pooping on herself that she'll be doing in the hallway but giving birth.

Svetlana turns away from the wall towards her silent hoverers, Mick and Ian, and yells, "She's coming!"

"Who's coming?" Ian questions as he looks around the empty hallway.

"Your child!" She yells at him as she tugs on the collar of his shirt to bring him closer to her, "I do not have time for your crazy panicking walking around shit that you do. So, you will hold my hand and help me to the room. Do you understand?"

Trying, and failing, to gently pry her hand off his shirt Ian answers, "Yes. Now let go so I can help you."

Mickey just smirks at the scene he witnessed before taking off to the direction of her room as Svetlana calls out to him to get a nurse.

With the pressure near unbearable she somehow makes it back to her room. As she's climbing back on to the bed a disgruntled nurse comes charging in. She keeps shooting Mick, who was right on her heels coming in, cautious looks. She's inclined to ask what he had done or said to make the nurse look so unhappy but then remembered that he was the person that had 'fuck u-up' written on his knuckles. His presence alone was enough cause for concern.

"Let's see how we're doing mom." The nurse asks.

Svetlana feels the sudden intrusion of the gloved hand invading her, she feels around for a bit and then hastily stands and pulls off her gloves. "Well you're good and stretched out and fully dilated so it’s time to have a baby!" She pushes the call button on the receiver next to Svetlana's bed and calls for more nurses and a doctor.  
She's never been more excited and nervous in her life. Or, maybe she has but it's different this time around. This time around this baby is hers that she desperately wanted and was ready for. This time she has Ian right next to her just as nervous and as excited as she is. She also has a Mickey who will deny it until the day he dies but she sees the excitement in his eyes too. They're able to witness the miracle of birth together and she's really glad it's them beside her.

"When the nurse said you were good and stretched out I know I'm not the only one who thought that you've been that way even before a kid was trying to come out." Mickey says. Ruining all her previous thoughts of her being glad he was here. Ian was right, they should have left Mick at home.

Ian's laugh quickly turns into a cough when he notices Svetlana's frown. "Mick, don't talk like that about the mother of our children." He says trying to stay in Svetlana's good graces.

In the next instant her room becomes a flurry of activity as nurses rush to prepare for her daughter's delivery. Her bed is lifted so she can be better angled and the side railing is pushed up so she can hold on to it. Her knees are parted and before she knows it her doctor is between them telling her she'll let her know when it's time to push. She forgot about the excruciating pain of pushing. Maybe it's not too late to ask if they can just slice her open and pull her kid out from her belly. 

She should have really thought more about this before she committed to such a big painful job. She, unfortunately, has no one to blame but herself for this bright idea.

"This was a stupid idea!" She yells when the doctor finally tells her she can push. "I do not want to do this! Why would you let me do this to myself?" she questions Ian.

"It was your idea! And, keep breathing. Remember long deep breaths.” he tells as he clutches her hand.

She’s about to yell at him and ask what the hell does he think she's doing but when another warm rough hand grabs her hand, that had been close to making a dent in the metal railing of the bed, all thoughts leave her. She looks up to Mick as he's scrunching up his faces and baring his clenched teeth. At least her grunts of pain are affecting someone since Ian continues to ignore her pleas and keeps with his stupid breathing technique. 

Svetlana holds on to his hand and pushes again, this time she doesn't stay as quiet. "Do not ever listen to me again you stupid shit. Or next time you can push a ginormous baby out of you!"

"Ok, Svetlana take a quick break before you give me another big push." her doctor says. She leans back and lets her boys flex their cramped fingers as she tries to regulate her breathing. "Ok, are you ready for another push?" the doctor asks after a minute.

What kind of stupid question is that? Of course she's not ready! But, she still reaches for the offered hands and forces her body to push! She's pushing and groaning and near tears but she knows it'll all be worth it once she gets to hold her daughter.

"Oh shit, you're gonna break my hand!" Mickey complains but thankfully doesn't try to get out of her strong vise.

"I will break your face if you don't shut the fuck up!"

"Can I look?" Ian asks in a shy voice. When she doesn't respond he continues, "I'm gonna look. I want to see her coming out."

Ian stretches his long body over her parted knees and looks over the sheet, he makes a sound that's somewhere between choking, gagging and sobbing. "I shouldn't have looked! That was awful, my eyeballs need to washed! That has to be painful. Mick, come look!"

"Fuck no! I'm good up here!"

"SHUT UP!" Svetlana yells as the doctor tells her to give one last push. She bears down and screams through clenched teeth as she puts her whole body into pushing.

Finally, with the doctor giving a helpful tug he pulls her daughter out. A nurse quickly suctions her throat and then she's placed on Svetlana’s chest.   
Her daughter is a bloody, gory beautiful mess. She's wailing and flapping around and Svetlana's never been happier. Her vision gets blurry as her eyes fill with tears as she tries to soothe her. She feels likes her face is going to break with how big her smile is but when she turns to Ian she knows it's nowhere as big and ridiculous as his. His own eyes are watering as he carefully reaches to caress his daughter’s cheek.

"She's beautiful. I mean she's kind of gross but she's still beautiful!"

"She is beautiful, Svet! You did good," Mickey says as he gives her a quick kiss to her forehead. He rubs at the corner of his eyes and sniff before reaching to touch the baby's lifted fist.

"You hear that, Yelina. You're beautiful, even if you're gross." Svetlana says to the bundle in her arms.

Every mother in the history of the world has thought their child was the most beautiful baby to ever born, but they were wrong. Svetlana isn't wrong. She's made a beautiful little girl. Yev was just as beautiful even with the rough Milkovich exterior he had from the very beginning. Yelina has this soft cherub look with her soft round cheeks and chubby body. Her small tuft of hair has the same fire red she's seen in pictures of Ian and Debbie when they were younger. Even the ten little fingers and ten little toes and buttoned nose are beautiful. Svetlana is so deliriously happy she's starting to rhyme like Dr. Seuss.

"Dad, do you want to cut-"

"Yes, I'll cut the cord!" Ian answers before the doctor has even finished asking his question.

Once Yelina has been detached, a nurse takes her from Svetlana to weigh and clean her. With a swift kiss to her cheek and a quiet "You did an amazing job." Ian follows Yelina to see what will be done to her.   
When a nurse announces her weight, 8lb 7oz, and her length, 21in long ("Mick, she'll probably be taller than you someday!") and states that she's a big healthy girl Ian quickly takes credit for keeping both her and Svetlana healthy. He's snapping pictures and cooing at Yelina the whole time she's wiped down and swaddled in a blanket. She watches on with a smile as she lays there waiting for the doctor to finish up with her and makes sure everything is where it should be. Mickey continues to stand next to her and just shakes his head and laughs as his boyfriend's antics.

"Charlie!" Ian says as he walks towards them cradling their bundle. "That's her middle name." He proudly states with a pointed look towards Mick.

"Christ, Gallagher. I mention a name one time and that just had to be the name you pick, huh?" Mickey questions but the happiness radiating off of him shows how much he loves the name.

With her daughter now snuggly tucked in the crook of her arm she smiles down at her, "Yelina Charlie Gallagher, it's perfect for our perfect daughter."


	10. Chapter 10

He doesn't leave her side. 

He can’t.

He couldn't, even if he wanted to. 

It's as if there is an invisible chain linked to him so whenever he strays too far she can just pull him back to his rightful place beside her. 

Though he did hesitate, but just for a fraction of a second, on whether he should follow the nurse who's taking Yelina or stay with Svetlana. The nurse, Shelby, her badge reads, says they're only taking Yelina for a quick sponge bath and to monitor her for a few minutes. So, Ian doesn't have to necessarily go with them. He figures he should stay and tend to Svetlana, as he knows her well and knows she'll be expecting to be taken care of since she just went through something so extremely painful just to give him a child.

A child that was, yes, her idea but Ian is smart enough to not mention that to her now if he wants his balls to stay attached. His face must show the debate going on in his head when he turns away from the retreating nurse and his daughter back to Svetlana who shakes her head at him and with a tired smile says, "Go with her, Ian. I will be fine." 

He doesn't need to be told twice. 

He sets off running and nearly collides with a nurse who has the nerve to stand between him and getting to his daughter, who has already made it down the hallway. With a quick insincere apology to the disgruntled nurse he quickly makes his way to Yelina's side. When he reaches her, he stands close to nurse Shelby, probably too close, so he can guard his Yelina like she's the rarest jewels the world has ever seen. When Ian hears the fast footsteps of someone running behind them he's only slightly surprised when he turns to see it’s Mick chasing them down. Once he's caught up to them and his hand is clasped firmly into Ian's hand they keep on with their journey. 

They're lead down the hallway to a secured door, where nurse Shelby swipes her badge and then turns to crush his heart. She tells them, as kindly as she can, that they'll have to wait outside while they clean Yelina and check all her vital signs. Though, she does direct them to a window so that they'll be able to see their daughter through once they are done with her. 

Mickey surprises him again when he starts walking towards the window before the door is even shut completely behind the nurse. "We should have brought some chairs with us." He says while sliding down the opposite wall of the nursery to sit on the floor. 

Ian follows suit and sits next to Mick. He knocks his knee against Mick's knee as he says "Can you believe we have a daughter?" 

"You have a daughter." 

Ian's head turns so fast he's surprised he doesn't get whiplash, "We have a daughter! Just like we have a son, or do you not want me to claim Yev as mine too?" 

Mickey doesn't reply, he just picks at the invisible lint on his shirt. Or the clearly visible crumbs from earlier. 

"Don't ruin our moment by being the stubborn ass you usually are. She's yours too and if you ever act or say anything to contradict that, so help me God, I will kick your ass and then let Svetlana hit you with a hammer a few times!" Ian threatens. 

"What the fuck, Ian?" Mickey yells as he shoves Ian's knee away with his own. 

"I'm serious, Mick. If I'm yours so is she, got it?" Ian tells him sternly. 

"Fuck, alright, I got it." Mickey answers with an eye roll. 

They sit on the floor in comfortable silence for a few minutes as they take turns stretching up anytime they see a nurse pass by the window. Then the sounds of their disappointed sighs are the only noise between them when they see the baby the nurse holds isn't theirs. So, they continue to sit and wait. 

As they wait Ian looks through the pictures he's already taken and posts a few of his daughter like the proud dad he is. It doesn't surprise him that Mickey is the first to go like all of them. 

"I can't wait for Yev to meet her!" Ian says breaking their silence. 

"I give it a week before we find her out on the curb where Yev's dumped her. I tried doing that with Mandy once." Mickey remembers fondly. 

"Do you want to go find Yevgeny and the rest of our families or do you want me to go? I'm sure they're out causing problems for someone in this hospital." Ian asks Mick, choosing to ignore his previous comment of Yev trying to get rid of Yelina. 

Though, Ian can picture a smaller Mickey trying to haul his sister outside to leave her on the curb. Possibly hoping that someone would come pick her up. Hell, he can see Mick trying to do that now with Mandy. Or Svetlana. Or even Iggy. Ian makes a mental note to make sure he doesn't let Mickey give Yev any bright ideas. 

"I'll go. I can't keep sitting here lookin' like an idiot. Do you see the looks the nurses are giving us? They probably think we're trying to kidnap a baby, they'll probably call security soon." Mickey tells him as he pushes himself off the floor just too squat right back down in front of Ian. Mickey grabs his face and kisses him. He's sure it's supposed to be a chaste kiss but it quickly turns into teeth clashing as the firm swipes of their tongues meet with equal vigorousness while their hands thrust into each other’s hair.

It's his favorite kind of kiss.

They break apart with Ian giving one last tug, with his teeth, to Mick's bottom lip. "I'll go get our son, while you sit on the floor like some loser waiting to catch a glimpse of our daughter." Mickey tells him before he saunters away. 

Ian waits for what seems like 15 years but is probably no more than 15 minutes before he sees the familiar nurse from earlier with a pink bundle in her arms. His pink bundle he realizes when she turns towards him and smiles lifting Yelina up a bit in her arms. Ian is up so fast he trips over his own feet and crashes into the glass opposite him with a loud bang. He startles the few nurses in the room, who turn to look at him with scowls on their faces. He just lifts a hand in apology and gives a small shrug. 

After he’s righted himself, he plasters himself against the glass so he can see his daughter better. He stands there and watches the nurse adjust Yelina's diaper and tuck it under her bellybutton. He laughs when the tiny pink shirt they put her in doesn't quite cover her round belly. Another laugh follows when she scrunches up her face, like he’s seen Svetlana do anytime she doesn't like something, when they place a pink hat on her head. 

She doesn't seem to like her outfit very much, and Ian doesn't blame her, since she looks like a small bottle of Pepto Bismol. All the pink is clashing with her red hair and it’s not a good look for her. He'll just have to change her into something else less pink from the wardrobe he has for her in his duffel bag. Like a hawk he watches as his daughter is being placed in the clear bassinet and wonders if he'll ever get tired of just staring at her. Probably not. 

He'll be that weird dad that shows up to school early just so he can watch his kid in their classroom for a bit. Yelina is going to be so embarrassed by him. 

When a different nurse notices that he's still standing there pressed as humanly possible to the glass she takes pity on him and rolls Yelina closer to him. Ian thinks she's even more beautiful now that she's been cleaned and clothed. Yelina stretches her little arm and yawns like she's the one who's had a rough tiresome day. Which maybe she has, it's probably a lot of work trying to squeeze your body through a tight tunnel. And Ian's sure it was a tight passage no matter what Mickey says. 

He can't believe he is a dad! Him, Ian Gallagher, the gay bipolar kid has a kid! It's terrifying and exciting all at the same time. She leaves him breathless and gives him breath all in the same second. She's his new will to be a better person. He always thought all those feelings would only ever come with his love for Mick but oh was he wrong. This love for his kid is on a whole different level that he never even knew was possible. 

Ian is still pressed against the glass when he hears them; they're like a tornado, bringing chaos and destruction. Debbie walks ahead with her phone held high taking a picture of the shenanigans behind her. Mickey oblivious to his picture being captured is arguing with Iggy over what Ian can only assume is about the chocolate (and God he hopes it's chocolate) smeared all over Yev's face. Fiona is hauling a bag of what looks like old baby blankets while wrangling a few balloons in the other hand while she talks to Veronica who is screeching at Amy and Gemma to stop being so loud in the hallways. His main concern should probably be Carl, Bonnie and Mandy who are walking too close for comfort. Knowing them, they're probably plotting ways to steal baby supplies from the hospital. And even with all the surprises and miracles he's already witnessed today seeing Lip walking with his usual arrogance and swagger at the end of the hoard is still enough to leave him wide eyed and speechless. 

They come at him in a swarm with congratulatory hugs and smiles, plus a hard pat on the back from Iggy, before he points out the ginger bundle that belongs to him. As his family huddle around the glass to see Yelina he takes Yev from Mickey and places him on his hip. 

"Are you ready to see your sister Yelina?" Ian asks as Yev nuzzles himself in his shoulder. He squeezes in between Fiona and Veronica and leans into the glass so he can show Yev his sister. 

"That's her?" Yev asks, clearly unimpressed. "How’s she supposed to play with me if she's so little?" 

"Just give her a few months and then she'll be crawling all over you!" Fiona answers for Ian. "I thought Lip, and even Ian when he was born, were really boring at the beginning. But then, they started moving and crawling and then walking and talking too and they became my best friends. Just wait around a bit and I'm sure you'll become best friends too." She says fondly as she wipes at Yev's sticky face. 

"I already waited for forever for her to be borned and now I have to keep waiting?" Yev questions as he wiggles out of Ian arms. "I'll just keep playing with Amy and Gemma." he calls out as he runs down the hall, obviously done with a sister who doesn't do anything. 

"She's beautiful!" Debbie says as shoves Ian over so she can take more pictures. "I think she looks like me!" 

"If she's beautiful I really doubt she looks like you!" Carl adds. The multiple slaps to the back of his head don't slow him down as he gets closer to the window. "She is cute, but my kid was cuter." 

Leave it to Carl to compliment and then offend his only niece the first time he meets her. Maybe his kid isn't as cute as he thinks she is. Because don't all parents think their kid is cute even when some of them have the ugliest babies to ever be born. Like the lady at work who loves showing off her scraggly toothed, big eared daughter and always asked 'Isn't she just so pretty?!' And Ian had to agree just to be nice. 

Oh God, what if he became the dad who shows off pictures of his funny looking kid and people didn't agree that she was beautiful!? 

He needed to ask someone who was honest. 

"Mandy, what do you think of your new niece?" he asks cautiously. 

Mandy leaned in and pressed her forehead against the glass as she squints to get a good look at Yelina, "Well, she doesn't have that alien look going on that Yev and Max had. So, she has that going for her. Her nose looks is a little pointy but I'll have to get a closer look to be completely sure it's gonna work for her face. And she's a redhead, who will eventually be covered in freckles and who knows how that's gonna turn out looking" 

Maybe he should have asked someone else because Mandy isn’t saying what he wanted to hear. 

"And yet even with all that going on I still think she's really, really pretty. You and Svet did a good job." She finishes as she pulls away from the glass with a big smile and hugs him. 

With one last lingering look at Yelina he turns to break away from the crowd to go talk to Lip. However he hasn't even made a complete step away when he hears the faint sounds of a baby whimpering, and he just knows those sad little sounds are coming from his kid. 

Sure enough, when he turns to look, Yelina's chubby little arms are wiggling around as her cries seem to get louder. It's such a heartbreaking cry that he wants to break through the glass and comfort her just to make everything right in the world for her. 

Ian hasn't even reached for the intercom on the wall next to him, so he can ask why his baby is making sounds that break his heart and make him want to cry, with her when Mickey is beside him banging on the glass. Mickey, the same guy who up until about an hour ago was adamant that they didn't need any more damn kids, is banging on the window asking why the hell his (HIS!) kid is crying. 

"Mick, stop banging on the damn window! You're gonna scare the other babies!" Ian tells him though he wants to do the same so someone will come check on his crying baby. 

"Why the fuck are they just letting her cry?" Mick asks, not even bothering to look away from the window. 

"I don't know!" Ian yells back.

He's starting to panic now.

Is there something wrong with her, he wonders? Why is no one checking on her? He looks all over the glass in case there's a sign like at a zoo that says something along the lines of 'don't tap on the glass because it startles the animals'. Not that his daughter is an animal but he just needs to be sure before he starts banging on the glass along with Mick. When he doesn't see anything he joins his boyfriend in their assault to the glass. In between their banging and yelling he hears their family around them talking. 

"Oh. My. God! I can't believe that idiot is my brother!" 

"I think I hear my girls and Yev calling for me, so I'ma walk away from this shit show." 

"This is just the distraction we needed! Come on, let's go raid the supply closet." 

"Lip, do something before security comes for these dumb asses!" 

Ian then hears a soft beep before a nurse answers, "Yes, can I help you?" 

"Umm, yeah, the baby crying her lungs out is my niece and if you don't do something about it soon my brother and is psychotic boyfriend are gonna break down the fucken glass to get to her. So you might wanna hurry the fuck up and check to see what her damn problem is!" Lip yells into the intercom next to them. 

"First, everyone just needs to calm down. The banging on the glass bothers the babies so please stop doing it. She's probably just hungry. We were just about to move her back to her mother! So, again, calm down!" she finishes with a yell. She's followed by another beep before quiet surrounds the hallway again. 

"Melina isn't even a day old and her dads are already embarrassing her. Poor kid." Fiona says with a laugh. 

"Yelina!" Ian and Mickey yell simultaneously. 

"Sorry, Yelina." She says with her hands up in surrender. 

With a nurse finally tending to Yelina, Ian realizes that maybe, just maybe, he and Mick could have handled that a little better. For starters, they could have done without all the damn disruptions like yelling and banging on the glass.

Then they should have also realized that babies cry. All the damn time. For no reason sometimes. Even with Yev being a good baby who hardly caused problems he still had a good set of lungs on him and could be heard crying over the sound of the L passing. So crying shouldn't be anything new to them. But, the real issue is that Lip, out of all the damn people in Chicago it just had to be Lip, was there to handle the situation somewhat calmly. Ian is supposed to be proving that he's ready and can handle being a parent. 

His big brother coming to the rescue didn't help his case at all. 

Still, he appreciates it. For had it not been for Lip, Ian is sure security would have eventually been called. And, what with Mickey's aversion to cops and security guards, excluding his self of course, it would have ended with someone getting injured or someone getting removed from the premises. Mickey being the latter. With that thought he figures it best if he and Mickey move away from the glass for a bit until they're done prepping Yelina to take her back to Svetlana. When he turns to see Mickey with his arms crossed and his usual scowl placed firmly on his face Ian knows there's no moving him from Yelina. 

It weirdly causes a flutter in his heart that moves down to the pit of his stomach and possibly moves further down his body but he'll think more on that later. Now, he just roughly grabs Mick's head and kisses him in the dark mop he calls hair before he walks away to talk to Lip, leaving Mick as bodyguard for their daughter. 

"Thanks for that." He tells Lip, nudging his head towards the intercom. “I panicked. Which if you ask Svet I've been doing a lot of today. But, it's ok. I'll get my shit sorted before we take Yelina home. I'm sure it's just new dad jitters that have me all out of sync." he says in a rush. 

"Yeah, maybe. Though it's a good thing Uncle Lip was here to save the day, might as well get her used to that now since we all know it won't be the only time I have to come to the rescue." Lip says arrogantly. 

"What the actual fuck, Lip? Did you just come to see how bad I could fuck up on her first day being alive? Because, I really don't need your shit now!" Ian argues. 

"What? No, Ian! I was being funny. Plus you know I'll take any opportunity to be a dick. Just like you take any opportunity to get dick." Lip says with a laugh. 

"You're not funny, you know that right?" 

"I'm hilarious. You just don't appreciate my kind of humor right now. You'll laugh later when you're not pissed at me." Lip tells him as he pulls the onesie that had been draped over his shoulder and swats at Ian with it. "Here, I even brought your illegitimate, Russian, Irish funny looking kid a gift." 

"Fuck you, she's beautiful!" Ian tells him grabbing the offered gift. 

Why people feel the need to gift baby girls so much pink shit he'll never know but a gift is a gift so he graciously takes it and stretches it out the see the big bold letters of Chicago Polytechnic written across it. "You got her a onesie from your alma mater? You cheap bastard." Ian says as he folds it up to fit into his back pocket. He pulls Lip into a hug and thanks him again before they pull apart. 

Lip opens his mouth to say something, probably snarky and unnecessary, yet before he actually says anything Mickey yells out, "Ian! Come on, they're bringing her out." 

Ian's by her side instantly watching with amazed bewilderment that not only did he help make a person but that Mickey is looking at her like she is the most amazing thing he's ever seen too. Times like this he really wished he knew where Kash was at just so he could send him a fruit basket or something just as equally lame. Or, what did he send to an ex-lover who in their own weird way was the cause of bringing him and the love of his life together? He'll have to think about that more later, now he needs to keep up with the nurse and Mickey as they escort Yelina to Svetlana's room. 

Before he makes his way into Svetlana's room Lip grabs his arm to hold him back as he says, "I guess you could say she's cute. She looks like you, and like Debbie did when she was born, so at least we know she's yours." 

"There wasn't ever a doubt she was mine, you asshole." he answers roughly pulling out of Lips grip. 

"Ooh ok, well that's good." Lip says before he sighs deeply, "Look, she's a lucky girl to have you as a dad, and even Svetlana as a mom. I've seen her with Yev and she's doing a good job. That kid is really bright and funny and not damaged in the least. And, believe me when I say it truly pains me to say this but even Mickey turned out to be decent parent. So I know she won't have the same shity life we had. But you have to understand that as the older brother I had to worry. I have to make sure my siblings are doing the right thing and are making their lives easier not harder. And for some fucked up reason you've always been set on making your life more difficult." Lip finishes as he fiddles with the cigarette he has behind his ear. 

Ian is almost sure Lip's whole speech was supposed to make things better between them and while he does appreciate Lip's concern for his well-being but it's not like Ian goes out of his way to look for trouble. He wouldn't have chosen to be the Gallagher sibling who got Monica's crazy gene. Or Franks hankering for drugs and alcohol. He'll take the blame for falling for a previously dirty thug, that yes might have made things a bit more difficult years ago but now they're good. Great, even. 

So instead of arguing with Lip in the hallway, that it was never his choice to make his life more difficult it's just the hand he was dealt, Ian pulls Lip into a hug as he says, "Thanks for being concerned. But you don't have to worry so much anymore. Yeah, that little red head in there is going to turn my whole life upside down but it's gonna be great. Just you wait and see." 

With that he leaves Lip in the hallway as he goes in to see his daughter. 

Later, walking back into Svetlana's room, after having to physically grab Debbie and escort her to the elevator because telling her numerous times that it was time for her to go home wasn't enough to make her actually leave, Ian sees what most of the people they know don’t get to see or understand. They don't get to see his little family together where Svetlana's sharp features aren't pinched up and angry or Mickey scowling at someone. They don’t get that this, this beautiful unconventional family, makes things better for him. 

No one but Ian will appreciate the scene he’s walked into. Yevgeny cuddled up to Svetlana as she lays half asleep on her bed running her fingers through his hair while Mickey reclined on the chair with Yelina sleeping soundly on his chest. It still amazed him that the same hands that have beat people to a bloody pulp can be so gentle with their kids. When Mickey first held her he was expecting some kind of derogatory comment or something insulting that only Mick would be rude enough to say but instead Mick look on to her like he was just discovering some deep meaningful secret of the world. He wasn't sure what to make of Mick's expression at first but once he was greeted with this big ridiculous smile, that was a rare occurrence on Mick's face, he knew what ever Mick has just realized had to be a good thing. 

He makes his way over to Mickey and squeezes himself on to the chair with them, much to Mickey's discontent. He chooses to ignore the pointed look and grunt of annoyance Mick makes and settles himself closer to his child and his love. “I love you.” He tells him as he reaches over to take Yelina from his arms.

Mickey, carefully, so very carefully, eases her into his arms and tucks her small arm back into her blanket, which Fiona had left for her, before he answers with an exasperated shake of his head, “Yeah, you better love me after I have to put up with your annoying ass family. But, I love you too.” he says as he leans in to kiss his forehead.

This is it for him, Ian thinks, this is where life has taken him and he couldn’t be any happier about it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mickey has never been one to be emotional or do the whole sharing his feelings shit.

It's just not him.

He leaves that to Ian. Yet, right now, as he's pacing around their living room with Yelina tucked in his arm he feels pretty damn emotional. He knew he should have stayed in his room and let dumb and dumber deal with the screeching 2 day old. But because he’s a fucken idiot sometimes, he got out of the comfort his bed. It started off as a chance to laugh and mock Ian and Svetlana on their kid being a pain in the ass already but with one look at Svetlana's tired face and Ian's shaking hands as he cradled Yelina he grew a bleeding heart and stayed to help out. 

"Hand her over, I'll rock her for a bit." Mickey found himself saying without hesitation. 

Ian passed her along as carefully and quickly as he could before mumbling that he had to use the restroom. Svetlana raised an eyebrow at his sudden willingness to help but didn't object as she eased herself on the couch, yawning between saying "I sit." Mandy had often said Svetlana's accent became so much more pronounced and she often forgot to add words when she was tired, so her I sit made perfect sense. Now an angry Svetlana spoke better English than most folks in the south side. 

So, now he stood rocking a kid that wasn't even technically his while he felt like sharing all kinds of damn feelings. Maybe it's because he was tired. Yeah, he'll blame being a fucken emotional girl on lack of sleep. Though, he probably could have gotten up to twelve hours of sleep last night, but his bed felt too cold without Ian there. 

Stupid, dorky, Ian who just had to stay with Yelina her first night on earth so they could bond or some shit, instead of being in bed with Mick where he belonged. Ian had said something along the lines of it would be good for Yev to get one last night of alone time with Mickey before his sister came home the next day anyway. Mickey just ignored him, grabbed Yev and went home not even bothering to tell him that Yelina wouldn't give a shit if Ian was there or not. It's not like he had the boobs to feed her. But, he kept all that to himself because he's an idiot who fell in love with an even bigger idiot who's determined to be a good parent and not fuck up their kids. So, he left Ian to do some bonding with Lina at the hospital while he and Yev got one on one time at home. 

Yevgeny was done with his bonding with Mick before they even got home. They didn't even make it to Mickey putting Yev is his pajamas before he was complaining about missing Svetlana and Ian. Mickey answered with a quiet, "Yeah, me too, kid." before getting up to search for a book to read to Yev. 

A few hours later, after Mick had cleaned up around the house, showered, text Ian, and then laid in a lonely bed waiting for sleep to hit him, Mick got a great plan. A great plan he wasn't necessarily proud of but a great plan none the less. He was going to wake up Yev, so he would at least have someone to talk to since he couldn't sleep. The first part of his great master plan included Mickey put on his heavy work boots and stomping up and down the stairs waiting for Yev to wake up with all the noise. 

Yev slept through it all. 

Next he opened up the cupboards, rattled dishes around, clinked cups against each other then closed the doors back as loudly as he could. When no noise was heard from upstairs he proceeded to open a pack of pop tarts since Yev was like a hound dog when it came to food and could sniff out a snack a mile away. 

But, still, Yev slept on.

Mickey will take this low point in his life with him to the grave, he thought, as he made his way back up to Yev's room. He did stop and think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea for him to do this after all. Yet, by that time he was already opening Yev's door, so he figured fuck it, if he couldn't sleep it wasn't fair for his kid to be sleeping.

As he neared the small bed with an even smaller form curled up in the middle he again started to rethink his plan. Then he remembered his boredom and loneliness and how needy he had gotten recently that waking his kid was still very much a good idea in his head. 

"Yev... Yevgeny... YEVY!" Mick yelled as he gently shook his son. All he got as a response was Yev nuzzling more in to his pillow and sticking out a small foot with a sock dangling off from under his cover. His kid was useless to him. 

When he still got no response from Yev after a bit more shaking and calling out of his name Mick backtracked out of the room, tripping on Legos and action figures, to try a different tactic to waking up Yev. So that's how Mickey found himself doing something no parent has ever done in the history of parenting. He slammed the door, as hard as could, to his kid’s room as he tried to sleep. 

Yev woke up instantly yelling out for Svetlana. Mick at least waited a few seconds to pretend like he wasn't already at the door like the lame ass dad he was being before he ran in. 

"Yev! What happened? Are you ok?" Mickey asked as he picked up the sniffling boy from his bed. Patting his back and swaying with him as he tried calming him down he asked, "Did the loud noise scare you? I don't know what it was but it scared me too." 

Mick had been iffy up until this point on whether he would be making a journey to hell once he died but now he was pretty sure it was set in stone, because who wakes their kid by scaring them then lies about it. Mickey Milkovich, that’s who.

 

Once Yev had calmed a bit and his tears had nearly dried up Mickey asked, "Do you want to come hang out with me for a bit. Maybe even watch some tv, just in case there's a big scary noise again?" 

"Ok, papa." Yev answers between a sniffle and a hiccup. 

With a small smirk and a weird feeling that could almost be called shame he carried Yev down to the living room for some quality tv time at 2 in the morning. He's still searching for the remote control when he realizes Yev's out cold. So, off to bed they go instead. 

Sleep still doesn't come as fast as he would like but with his kid's warm little body pressed against him and his small hand splayed across his face it's a lot more bearable to lay in the dark staring at the ceiling missing his better half.

At that time he blamed having another kid for fucking up his life, not knowing that late the next night he would be pacing around their living room as he cradled said kid trying to sooth her while he carried on a one sided conversation with her.

"Hey raggedy Ann. Ummm, I'm Mickey. Your daddy calls me Mick, or sometimes Mr. Milkovich. But that's usually when we're alone and he's trying to get me into trying kinky shit and I don't know why the fuck I'm telling you this." he sighs and feels like such an idiot for talking to Yelina when she probably doesn’t understand a word he’s saying. But she has stopped crying so maybe the talking helps. Plus, if he's going to be a big emotional sap he needs to do it now when no one is paying attention to them. So he adjusts her, this beautiful ginger baby who's already wrapping him around her finger, in the crook of his arm and keeps the swaying motion he's seen Svetlana and Ian do with her, slow and gentle.

"Your mama calls me stupid shit or damn bastard most days. Hey you, on good days. Sometimes I'll get a Mickey but it's rare and usually in public. She's difficult like that, but she's a good person. I've grown to like her, I'm sure you'll love her. Your brother calls me Papa, which wasn't my damn idea. I'd have preferred Pop or even dad. He's a good kid too my Yev, that’s his name, Yevgeny Milkovich. I think you got the better end of the deal with the whole Russian name thing. But, you got Gallagher at the end of your name so I guess it's not much better. At least now you'll have each other to beat up the fuckers who decided to pick on y'all because of your names. I'm sure you'll become good friends with your brother eventually like me and my sister have become. Just don't tell anyone I claimed Mandy as a best friend. You'll like your aunt Mandy and even if you don't she'll still be around bugging you all the damn time. She likes to call me assface and other creative insulting names." He stops his ramblings as Yelina yawns like she's the one who's having a rough night. 

She gets changed regularly and is attached to Svetlana's boob all the damn time so she's living the damn life and yet she's still whining and carrying on like her life is rough. She opens her eyes and looks at Mick, probably because he stopped rambling on, and he feels like she's really looking at him. Like she's examining him all the way to his soul. He must pass her inspection because she closes her cloudy grey eyes again. Svetlana says they'll probably be green the way they look so far but he can't really tell. When she settles he figures it's her way of telling him to keep talking, so he does. 

"See, the thing is, kid that I wasn't really sure how I would feel about you. I was almost sure that I would take one look at you and I wouldn't feel anything for you since you weren't mine. Shit, it took me weeks to even start liking Yev and he is mine. I think I was just afraid that I now had a kid in the world to fuck up like my dad did. But I think I'm doing a decent job, he likes me and for some unknown reason likes hanging out with me, most of the time unless he’s tired." She smiles at him like she really understands what he's telling her so he continues with his speech. "I'm only gonna say this one time so I can get it off my chest, I didn't really want you. I know that your mama and daddy would kick my ass if they heard me but I had seen a boy whenever anyone mentioned another kid. That's what I was set on, me and Ian and our sons. But then I took one look at you, and Yelina you were a sight to see. All bloody and gross but my first thought was you looked like Ian. With the same matching red hair. I'm sure when you get older and it's gotten longer and the sun is hitting it just right will look likes it’s on fire.”

Mickey is pretty sure Yelina has fallen asleep on him as she hasn’t made any more noise and the tears have completely stopped but he’s on a roll so he might as well keep talking. Then he’ll never mention that he just spent the last five minutes talking to a baby.

“When I told your Aunt Debbie, who I guess you kind of look like too, that I thought you were beautiful she laughed and said 'Yeah, she's a Gallagher. We may not have much going on for ourselves but at least we're cute. Plus she looks like the person you love so of course you think she's beautiful.' And, I guess she's right. Your dad loves Yev so much and I never got why he did. Not that Yev isn’t great and doesn’t deserve to be loved by Ian but I just thought it was strange. Because why he would love and care so much for a kid that wasn't even his but I get it now. He loves him because Yev's a part of me. I got extremely lucky that your dad had a thing for dirty thugs and wanted me and chose to love me and my kid. Plus my crazy ass wife. That’s gonna be so hard to explain to you once you get older.”

“Basically all this talking that I just did was to tell you that I love you. I might not tell you as often as I should but don’t ever doubt that it’s not there, kid. So, yeah, even though technically and biologically all that shit I’m not your actual dad, nothing would make me happier than you calling me Papa." 

Mickey finishes as he switches Yelina from one arm to the other. He didn’t think a ten pound baby could make his arm fall asleep but that’s just what her chubby little self did. He feels so much better and yet like a complete idiot that he just laid all this out for her but luckily one was listening in on him.

Or so he thought until Ian scares the living daylights out of him when he wraps his arms around him saying, “That was beautiful, Mick.”

Then, the sound of a sniffling Svetlana reaches his ears and he knows that he was never just talking to Yelina. He’s slightly embarrassed, and pissed, because now he has witnesses to him being so damn emotional.

“Are you fucken crying?” he yells at Svetlana as he untangles himself from Ian’s arms and walks towards the couch she’s sitting on.

“I just had a baby! Of course I am crying!” Svetlana argues back.

“Why are you crying mama?” Yev asks as he suddenly appears behind Mick rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Because, your Papa grew a heart.” Svetlana tells him before he climbs on to the couch next to her.

Mickey ignores the laughter coming from Ian as he sits down next to Yev and Svetlana, careful to not wake Yelina. Ian soon follows, picking up Yev to place him on his lap before sitting on the couch between Mick and Svetlana. He must fall asleep somewhere after Yev asked why he just now has a heart because next thing he knows he’s being woken up by Svetlana to take Yelina from the safe haven of his arms.

He turns over to see Ian sound asleep with Yev snoring softly on top of him. He lets Yelina go only because she’s staring to make noise and he really doesn’t need for the whole house to be awake again and 3 in the damn morning.

 

“We did good, yes? We turned an ugly, shity situation into a good one.” Svetlana tells him as she takes Yelina from him. She kisses his forehead before stopping to do the same to Ian and Yev then walks away speaking quietly to Yelina in Russian.

For, most likely, the first and only time that Mick has known Svetlana he doesn’t argue with her because he realizes that she’s right. They did good, and he hopes it just keeps getting better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, yeah, I had all kinds of plans for this story but then life happened. Then I got frustrated with myself because it wasn't quite panning out the way I had originally intended for it to. It's now finally, somewhat, come together after weeks and weeks of me putting it off. So, this is it basically. The End! Thanks so much for reading and sticking around until the end!


End file.
